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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#841 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 17th 2013, 06:50 AM

I need to cut. Like, now.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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  (#842 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 17th 2013, 05:08 PM

I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight so bad it hurts.


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



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  (#843 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 17th 2013, 07:43 PM

It really sucks to know you won't ever be confident enough, cool enough, funny enough, handsome enough, good enough for almost everything and everyone.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 17th 2013, 11:26 PM

They're talking about grave plots.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 18th 2013, 12:19 AM

Fucking damnit. That triggered my dreams. Why? How? I thought I gained control of this. Fuck.



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

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  (#846 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 18th 2013, 05:59 AM

Honestly? I' m trying so hard to be happy.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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  (#847 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 18th 2013, 07:02 AM

I can't frekin sleep. As if I didnt have enough things to be mad about and now this.

I hope when I do sleep I get a terrible nightmare so I can at least feel something.



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
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  (#848 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 18th 2013, 03:39 PM

No, jamming your music at 3AM is not ok. We are trying to sleep. Respect the quite hours.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
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  (#849 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 19th 2013, 04:21 AM

Too much up and down. Fucking stop i can't handle it anymore...





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 19th 2013, 03:35 PM

It's really hard to have to sit in a room of people when all I Want to do is cry and be alone.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 19th 2013, 05:08 PM

Ugh just shut up! First you throw a fit because you weren't invited to get ice cream with us. That was only because half our group doesn't get along with you.. and we all have the same reasons. So since you were so butt hurt, I decided to do something nice for you. Yes me, the one that probably hates you the most out of our group. I invited you to come with us on Wednesday after practice to get ice cream with us. I even offered to celebrate your birthday since that's coming up. Me! That was all my idea! But you ignore me, and then answer my best friend. Then you have the nerve to say things like "I don't want to go because Rachel is going to be there." Really? Then why did you complain about not being invited in the first place? At least remember your birthday and took your feelings into consideration, but I never got a happy birthday from you. Damn. Then keep pushing your answer off. If you're not going then get off your butt and say it! Don't be texting my friend about how much you hate me or whatever. Just ugh grow up! You can at least say, "you're welcome" for trying to do something nice for you. Ugh just go way Kim! Go away!


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 19th 2013, 06:04 PM

I'm sorry, okay? But I can't go there alone. You can't do that to me. If you only knew.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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  (#853 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 20th 2013, 07:33 PM

No, I don't want to drive you to a party. I'm studying, and working on things and I don't have time to be giving free rides out.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 20th 2013, 09:45 PM

Alone. Nobody cares about me anymore.

It's fine. I'm used to people not giving a shit about me anymore.




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Re: Screaming thread. - August 20th 2013, 10:58 PM

lol fuck AP and everything else at this point I'm never gonna be anything
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 21st 2013, 02:41 AM

I hate how fucking dumb people you are!! Omg!! Seriously! Yes the answer is yes and no your last point wasn't a point and next time when someone says thank you and answers your points back in such a nice way and makes sure you feel appreciated you should really try to do the same because it's fucking rude not to.
Ugh.
And YOU!! ugh!! You are the most painfully selfish woman I have ever met. You love him? You love him? You think he's the one and going to be the father of your children? Then why the fuck did you immediately give up on trying to get him in your life, huh? You think he's the one so you then date someone for a year and a half and when he keeps trying to date you you keep turning him down. Who the hell does that? WHEN YOU THINK HE'S THE ONE, YOU WAIT UNTIL THERE IS NO WAITING LEFT IN YOU. ANY OPPORTUNITY TO SOMEHOW GET HIM TO LIKE YOU MORE AS A PERSON YOU TAKE AND YOU SURE AS HELL DON'T TELL ME FOR A YEAR AND A HALF HOW PERFECT HE IS FOR YOU AND HOW ITS INNERMOST DESIRE THAT HE'S YOURS ONLY TO THROW HIS HEART IN A TRASHCAN. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE. YOU DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH ON WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL AND IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE BAD AT FRIENDSHIPS IT'S THAT YOU'RE SELFISH.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 21st 2013, 02:58 AM

I'm REALLY not ready to take this class for the 3RD TIME, no matter who's teaching it.

I appreciate everything everybody did to get me out of the class that would've been worse, but this semester is going to SUCK and I have less than a week of my well-deserved vacation left because I spent 90% of it wasting my time and money with a B**** of an instructor so that I could graduate on time. I have a love-hate relationship with school right now ugh


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 23rd 2013, 12:45 AM

Wow i can't believe i really thought this school would be different. No, the people are just like the people at my fucking old school, i hate this. why are people so mean to me?





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 23rd 2013, 02:03 AM

--Okay, you can't really tell me to wear more flattering and "better" clothes while simultaneously telling me that I'm fat and then complain when I don't listen to you. That makes no sense. They already make me self-conscious and uncomfortable, the last thing you need to tell me is that they look bad on me because I'm fat!

-- I know you're wrong, but you have part of me convinced that you're right. I don't know what the f*** to believe anymore.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 23rd 2013, 02:15 AM

You're wrong, YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
Yes, you, you'll never get how exhausted I am, how hard it is to stay awake when I haven't slept in over 100 hours, no, you don't get what a nightmare even is try dealing with 9 months of MINE, no, you don't get what it feels like to be this fucked up and deprived of love and of sleep and of recovery. You have NO idea.
And you, you have no clue what I've gone through, how many times I've been bullied and harassed ever since I was a kid, and when I try my hardest to fix something, like my skin so I won't be called an alien and my addiction so I won't be called emo, you have no fucking idea what its like walking through a high school where I'm so invisible yet so targeted as a subject to just being different. No, I don't have to "fit in", because if I don't fit in that doesn't justify being harassed and picked on. Don't blame my friends, don't blame my clothes, don't blame what I like or any of my problems, just don't, because it won't help. They're never going to quit. I'm not changing just to see, because trust me, they just won't.
Oh, okay, and you, you will never understand my feelings for him vs. my feelings for you. Okay, I say it all the time, how much I love him, how much I love you, and I can't fucking help that. You and I have done so much shit that I've kept a secret, and we both know that I've hurt you. That's the reason I didn't tell you what he and I did, okay? I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt HIM either, and then well, he told you instead so I guess he took care of that and somehow I'm the one hurting. But don't fucking make it seem like this is all my doing and I'm so evil, you've done the same fucking thing and you know it, you're an ass to me and I know it, and he will never ever truly like me, and he knows it. He manipulated me and guess what else? I cut over it, a lot. You don't understand that either, but besides the point, I lied because sometimes things are just better left unsaid. So fuck you, do you even know how many secrets I've kept for you?
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 23rd 2013, 02:24 AM

I get it, I'm a fucking pathetic little bitch and I should be happy for you and think about someone besides myself for once but please just stop rubbing it in my face please because all I do is break down and cry after every story you tell or cute text you show me. both of you just stop. please. because I am alone and it is killing me and I don't know how much more I can take of this.

make. up. your. mind. do you like me? do you even care if I exist? ...am I just a friend? do you understand what flirting is? because that's what you're doing. and if you don't mean it, and if you don't intend to continue and/or take it to the next level, then stop. you are leading me on.and I don't think you intend to. honestly. i'm 99% sure you're innocent. your intentions are good. but you're hurting me. if this continues, i'm going to take matters into my own hands. and i really don't want to do that.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 23rd 2013, 07:16 PM

I'm a shit aunt and a shit person and a shit staff member who keeps making stupid mistakes.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 24th 2013, 02:04 PM

"This will be the last time we're all together."

No, please....Please don't say that.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 24th 2013, 04:53 PM

You say you're going to do something, and then you don't do it. Then, you lie about it. Wow, you're a great friend.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 24th 2013, 11:46 PM

Why don't you just tell me what I asked for instead of criticizing me for what I've done. This is MY life and I don't have to defend my decisions or actions to you! Not sure why I bothered or thought that that would help. When you're in my situation, you can judge me and then handle it however the hell you want.

I pray and pray that I WON'T GET SICK and I get sick 2 days before I have to go back! What the Hell?!

And how do I still not have my book, it'd better get here by when you say it will or I will SCREAM at you.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 25th 2013, 11:57 AM

I'm so tired and I don't even know why. I'd better get my sleeping schedule back to normal or I'm going to struggle with my classes this week.


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you're a werewolf."
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 25th 2013, 02:41 PM

Why did I do this again?? I can't do anything right. I don't deserve that.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 25th 2013, 06:49 PM

FUCK YOU. Stop upsetting her, just leave her the hell alone. Her mother could die at any moment and she doesn't need you adding to it. I fucking hate your sorry ass for doing this to her. No one messes with my mother, you jerk. I'm surprised we haven't left yet; because I think we should.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 25th 2013, 08:03 PM

why can't you just accept who i am?!?!? i like black cloths! big fucking deal!!!!! i am so tired of getting crap for no reason. i'm 15. i'm just trying to figure out who i am!!!!!! why can't i draw zombies and wear black make up for a while without you thinking i'm phycotic!?!?!!?! i'm tired of worrying about how you are going to react if i do something. just leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 26th 2013, 05:45 AM

I was going to try to tell you. But now I'm definitely not going to, not at all. I'm sorry I'm such an annoyance and if you don't like my help, don't ask for it. I'm sorry that you hate me, I really am. I can cross another friendship off the list; because I can feel the tension. I can feel it coming to a close.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 26th 2013, 07:37 AM

I'm gonna be a failure. May as well...
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 26th 2013, 10:48 PM

This isn't what I thought it would be. You talk it up way to much.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 01:15 AM

Feel evil. Should go die somewhere.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 01:38 AM

I'd better fucking pass this time, but that will get me and it didn't before and since when will participation points make or break me in the profession?!?! Unless you can prove to me that they will I'm going to argue that it isn't fair to be failed because of them. This might go better than either of the last 2 times, but if it doesn't I am OUT OF HERE and to have that happen because of a personality trait would be COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!!!

I didn't get the break I deserved, I REALLY don't want to take this class for the 3rd time, everyone thinks I'm in prac already (and I should be), I'm not prepared to do any work for any class because that "break" consisted of 5 weeks of being treated like crap, talking to the director about the fact that I was being treated like crap, withdrawing from a class, spending the rest of the vacation paranoid about getting her again and trying to switch classes to get away from her again, calling in undeserved favors so that my life wasn't completely ruined by her, waiting for the textbook that I STILL DON'T HAVE, and nagging Amazon about the textbook that I still don't have. Now I've got 3 months straight of classes again and THEN I FINALLY get a break after I take an extra exam and I will spend that "break" freaking out about whether I passed or not because it will determine how f***ed up my life will be for the next 2 years! I HATE MY LIFE!! and I WANT TO GO HOME and STAY THERE!


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Last edited by Kate*; August 27th 2013 at 06:21 AM.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 02:27 AM

Why do you have to be so fucking stupid? People actually care about you, and killing yourself is all you think about.. You're so pathetic





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 02:57 AM

I hate feeling so alone :/ I'm sick of feeling like its me against the world. I am sick of this feeling of being in denial about me slipping back into depression, I hate it all.

And to top it all off! Cousin, I cannot believe you attempted suicide yesterday God, I am still reeling and yeah, of course I am glad you are okay but the thing is you have so many people who fucking love you!

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 03:02 AM

Why do you have to take every bit of happiness I have and crush it? Why do you have to do that to me? I don't understand.. You don't know what I went through today. I nearly fucking killed myself.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 03:10 AM

You don't know a thing. Get out of my life.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 03:47 AM

It's not always about you, and I'm not the one who shouldn't be so mean. Do you recall how freaking abusive you were? That letter wasn't even about you. It was a letter to my self harm. When I talked about getting out of a toxic relationship I was talking about my addiction, NOT YOU. Although that draws an interesting parallel between our friendship and my self-destruction...

Yup, you were really fucking bad for me and I don't owe you anything.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 27th 2013, 11:13 PM

I'm not your teacher, I can't keep constantly teaching you things and taking all this time out of my day just because you didn't go to class.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
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