Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Soda_Voxel]

I cannot do anything right. I will never amount to anything. My interests, my activities, my opinions, my thoughts, none of it fucking matters. I am a waste of space and me dying would only be a bad thing because it hadn't happened sooner.

[Kate*]

I only went in person and paid a TON more, because it said the frames were discontinued EVERYWHERE. Why did I find them in store in like 10 minutes?!

ED Trigger Below

I go to get glasses, and all I can see in their intense lighting and mirrors is my huge double chin. Time to get this weight off.[/color][/color]

Back to being bored at work, and I can't leave early, because I need the money to cover bills.

[Mindfulness.]

I really wish I didn't take on so much.

[Odyne]

Why is it so hard to eat?

[Mindfulness.]

I just hate being irritable all the time.

[Kate*]

There is too much work for two people, and not enough for three. I'd rather have more to do that doesn't get done, than be stuck wandering around for hours with literally NOTHING to do.

[Odyne]

I’m sooooooo tired

[Mindfulness.]

I hate being this anxious all the time.

[Everglow.]

Everything would be so much easier if I wasnt so fucking disgusting

[Odyne]

I hate anxiety!

[Soda_Voxel]

Why is humanity so fucking cruel? I despise this planet.

[Odyne]

I truly hate myself so much

[Soda_Voxel]

I'm tired of putting on a happy face.

[Kate*]

We're all bored out of our fucking minds, but walking away from any amount of time and a half pay is the stupidest thing ever.

[Odyne]

Tired all the time.
Medication life

[Soda_Voxel]

I want to take a break from being human for a while. I want to become the sound of the waves, the falling leaves of autumn, the lofi beats in my ears soundtracking the world, the stars littering the sunset sky...I don't want to deal with this. Give me a break from being, please.

[Mindfulness.]

That place is getting more and more toxic.

[Odyne]

Why so hard? …

[Mindfulness.]

I really don't want to be there anymore.

[Soda_Voxel]

I wish I was brave like I used to be. I should stop being a coward and do it already, I deserve it and want it anyway.

[Kate*]

I've been so bored that I left early yesterday, so I don't care that you're cutting me 45 minutes. But, I'm back to working all weekend after we have a new hire. I worked both weekend days by myself for the first 6 months I was there and when I mentioned it, got yelled at. Why the hell can't the new hire return at least part of that favor?! Why am I always the one who gets jerked around?! I need a vacation, but I'd still have to wait a month for it

Seeing other people with disabilities and diagnoses licenced in the field still hurts. I'm no different than they are, but I got broken instead (and stood up to ableist abuse and gaslighting. No regrets)

[Odyne]

Tired all the time

[Mindfulness.]

I don't know why I do this to myself.

[Kate*]

Jury duty again, are you kidding me?! How random can it really be if I've been called twice, by the same court, almost exactly 4 years apart?! At least I can call in this time, but I still have to be ready to report at 8am.

[Mindfulness.]

I really don't know how much more of this I can handle.

[Kate*]

Just no. You don't have the right to dictate how someone deals with anything just because you don't like how they do it. Just shut up.

I hope I don't have to go in for jury duty, but things so rarely work out the way I want them to, that I'm over even hoping for certain outcomes anymore.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm really hoping my application proceeds onto the next stage. I can't bear to work there anymore.

[Mindfulness.]

I just want to be able to rest.

I just don't fucking get you sometimes. You acknowledge we have problems with our communication when apart, which I agree with. You say the problem is you take me for granted. For a few days you text a ton and I feel closer to you and it's amazing. But then, a week later, it's like pulling teeth to try and talk with you again. You don't even text me after work. That's why I don't fucking text you first often. It always feels like such a rejection. Then M tells me you feel hurt that I text him more than you. What the fuck am I supposed to do? You don't fucking talk to me! So I don't think you can get mad when I text your boyfriend and not you when you fucking never respond.

[Mindfulness.]

I just don't know what to do.

[Kate*]

I've never been one of the many with my diagnosis to ask "stupid" questions; at least I don't think so. Today I was that person, and part of me hates myself for it. At least it was to one of my favorite managers, so I doubt she'll hold it against me.

[Soda_Voxel]

Why can't I just be fucking happy for people? Why do I always have to be so bitter and self hating and compare myself to everyone? ugh

[Kate*]

That week is either work 6 days straight, or get jury duty. I'm not sure which way I hope that goes.

[Mindfulness.]

I just want to know what to do.

Nice that your resolution lasted for like four days. Now it's back to you barely saying anything, and me always initiating. This is really starting to be a huge issue for me.

[Mindfulness.]

I am just always so tired.

[Kate*]

Another manager gone. And she loved me. I keep saying it might be time to get out. But, to go where?

You realize you never gave us the key right? The only reason I'm not worried about having the wrong dates and forgetting about him, is that you never gave us the keys.

I guess none of us can catch a break.

I feel so angry about it today. I shouldn't be willful, because so much is at stake, but I really don't fucking care right now.

[Soda_Voxel]

My therapist had to cancel. Given, it was for a very important reason so I'm not mad at her specifically. I was just really prepared for it.