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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 16th 2013, 01:33 PM
The excitement and emotions I have fade so fast. I wish I could be excited about things for longer before I start worrying about something else.
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 17th 2013, 03:01 AM
GOD THEY'RE SO... GAH! Ignore me for weeks, and then all of the sudden want to hug me and actually acknowledge my existence just so you can tell me: you hate me, want to kill me, hope I stop destroying myself but won't care if I don't, you hate Pat, and your lives suck more than mine.
Thanks Matt. Thanks Cody.
Fuck you both. What "friends" you are.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 17th 2013, 03:24 AM
I really need to cut. I think I'm going to relapse soon. I just want it all to stop. I don't know. I'm aching for the blade. And everything is adding up and I can't help but want to. I'm in denial. Maybe I'm insane. And I fucking hate myself for being like this.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
Last edited by hocus pocus; December 17th 2013 at 03:59 AM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 17th 2013, 04:37 AM
I'm so fucking stupid, I keep thinking that i'm alright and doing better then something happens and i go back down and want to cut again. I can't handle the ups and downs anymore.
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 17th 2013, 07:53 PM
Most people I come into contact with, including you, make me feel completely fucking worthless; You ask what you can do to help me, I ask you to focus on what I do right and convince me that I'm not completely incompetent and you tell me that that's my job not yours. Then when I tell you I'm seriously considering quitting because I have NO confidence in my ability to do this, you have the NERVE to tell me that I put myself in that position. I can't fucking believe this!!! Take responsibility for what you said and stop acting like you had nothing to do with it.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 18th 2013, 03:19 AM
Really a 2.8 gpa. i'm just so fucking stupid and i'm never gonna get anywhere....
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 18th 2013, 04:23 AM
My head hurts. I did it to myself. My makeup wouldn't cover the black and blue. I deserve it.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 18th 2013, 06:54 AM
I honestly don't even freaking get it. You never deserved me and you still don't deserve me now. What you are too damn stupid to see is that I am still hopelessly in love with you while you GET OVER ME in a MONTH and fall for some other stupid girl that I happen to KNOW. Oh wait. That's the worst part. You KNOW I am still in love with you. Wow. Just wow. I hate your freaking guts. Oh wait. That's the problem. I'm still in love with you. I can't even believe you... I just can't even believe you. And now here I am.. unable to sleep after a complete nervous breakdown....brilliant. Aren't you happy now?
Formerly jelli1224
Trusting is not a mistake, but it is important to realize that things change. ~ Kmn483<3Bliz
Please feel free to PM me. I love to help others, and can be an ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a face to scream at. <3
Help LINK Mentor - March 19th 2011 to April 16th 2011
Live Help Operator - February 18th 2012 to June 4th, 2012
Associate Live Help Operator - August 13th 2012 <3
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 20th 2013, 04:20 AM
I'm in danger from myself. So anxious. Can't stop shaking. I hate body memories. Triggered.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 20th 2013, 10:23 AM
Three hours of sleep.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 23rd 2013, 07:12 PM
You're not a real man. A real man would drive hours to keep her company. I real man would be willing to take off work to stay home while she's sick. A real man wouldn't neglect her, her thoughts or her feelings. A real man would treat her with respect, and with an endless amount of love.
You're someone who gives men a bad name. You're not a man, you're a boy.
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 25th 2013, 03:53 AM
This time of year is so incredibly triggering. It was like clockwork, every year. I'm ashamed. An ashamed slut. Just make it January already.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 25th 2013, 05:01 AM
Oh, just be quiet already!!! Why can't you be proud of me! I manage to get scholarships and get into a good college! More than you ever did!! And what do I hear 'oh maybe if you got excellent grades, like your friend Desiree, may be you can actually do something that will be good for you.' What the hell!!! Just because I know I can be just as smartas dezy doesnt mean I want to. I want to enjou my life as it comes not study myself to no end. And I already gave up on what Iwwanted to do and chose an other career and yet your still not happy!?!?! I dont want to be a doctor or a lawyer like you always nag me to be!! I want to sing! But you said no, so I went to technology. But no!! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!
Used to be Misslostintears
If you ever want to talk or something, i am always here.
I've been around for a while now.
If someone tells you that something you love is wrong,
THEY ARE WRONG
IF someone tries to destroy your dreams,
SHOW THEM THAT WHAT THEY DO IS NOT GOING TO STOP YOU
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS,
IT'S YOUR LIFE,
LIVE IT YOUR WAY!
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 26th 2013, 03:28 AM
This picture shows exactly how I feel about you. You got mad at me for the same thing you're doing, yet it's okay when you do it. Then, you didn't tell me about her, lied to me, lied to HER, AND you expected me to be your backup while you went to try and date her. I'm not yours anymore, so leave me alone. Haven't you done enough already?
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 26th 2013, 03:48 AM
Thanks for agreeing that i'm fucked up, its really nice of you...
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 26th 2013, 03:44 PM
I feel gross in general. And moody.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 27th 2013, 12:59 PM
Well, weighing myself this morning was a mistake. I even underestimated how fat I am. So, I've set goals for daily calorie intake and the weight I eventually want to be, I'll get there in no time. Fuck off, Mam, I don't want lunch. Or dinner later. Cheers. Let me be. I want to cut the shit out of myself. Look at the state of me. So big and fat and ugly. I wish I could slash my thighs into pieces and cut all the fucking fat out of them. I'm so worthless. The numbers need to be lower. I need to look better. I should be better. But it's impossible. Why can't I just die already?
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 27th 2013, 04:31 PM
I finally get the fuck to sleep but have a nightmare anyway. It's only twelve thirty. It should be later than that. Damn it. I wish I could take a remote and fast forward through time. I wish you fucking cared. But don't worry, there's no need to pretend to even care!
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
Last edited by hocus pocus; December 27th 2013 at 11:13 PM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 28th 2013, 02:18 AM
I can't fucking take it!
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE THIS LIFE ANYMORE BEING SO SCARED AND RECKLESS AND WORTHLESS.
I just can't fight this fight.
My leg hurts from cutting again after I thought I was going to last. I have a perfect boyfriend and my family is all in town and I was doing pretty good, 1 Month self harm free and then fuck it I can't even make it through one silly trigger and bam I have to talk myself out of sawing my arm off or putting a fucking rope around my neck!
Why can't I just be happy! It was just Christmas! I got a phone and some beats and a lot of band merch and my family is in town and my boyfriend might actually like me but honestly it's too dark in my head to let any of that stuff matter.
Matthew wants me dead. Mimi doesn't want me to be her friend anymore. Jack and Cody and god knows who else hate me. My parents are fighting more than ever. My boyfriend is talking to me less and less and I'm scared I'm losing him. My family doesn't understand, my friends don't, hell I'm not even sure TeenHelp understands me anymore because here I am complaining when I should just. Be. Happy.
I hate myself every single second and actually want to leave this life behind. I don't think I deserve love, or happiness, or the air I'm breathing anymore. I just don't give a shit what happens to me, if I die tomorrow I don't want anyone to care or cry or even notice that I'm gone. I just want to hide under my bed and never come out because I know no one will miss me. I'd be doing this world a favor because really I'm such a piece of shit that I'm too worthless for anything above existence.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 28th 2013, 03:18 PM
Thanks. Thanks, assholes. It's always my goddamned fault, right? So you all snap at me and make me feel like shit. I was dreading this stupid lunch to begin with so thanks for making it a whole hell of a lot worse! I'm so fucking fed up with you people. I don't even know you anymore. So don't go around acting like you know me because you barely know anything about my life.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first