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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
April 23rd 2012, 01:16 PM
I'm thinking of starting to purge again because people keep making me eat when I'm trying not to.
Resident old person, back from much needed, multiple year hiatus.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
April 26th 2012, 02:26 AM
i don't know if i can do this anymore. i feel so pathetic.
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 3rd 2012, 07:53 PM
i hate everything about myself. i had a pregnancy scare. i'm addicted to painkillers. i am terrified of other people's opinions of me, so i tend to keep to myself.
--Here I stand, empty hands, wishing my wrists were bleeding, to stop the pain from the beatings--
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 5th 2012, 03:00 PM
I still haven't really said it to another person. I've paraphrased it and used euphemisms, so they'd understand it but I've never really owned up to it and said it.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 6th 2012, 03:53 AM
im so triggered.
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 18th 2012, 09:03 PM
I'm terrified of being healthy.
Last night I wanted to kill myself.
I hate myself and my body.
I'm in eating disorder treatment but I'm really just faking getting better so friends and family can leave me alone. I actually don't want to get better.
Out of the ashes I'm burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar. I've got shame, I've got scars that I will never show. I'm a survivor in more ways than you know. 'Cause all the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I was broken and bruised. Now I'm a warrior.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 19th 2012, 08:50 AM
I stayed up all night on youtube.
Secretly, I'm depressed again. I don't see what's worth living for sometimes, but I keep going anyways.
I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 21st 2012, 09:11 PM
I was doing so well without you and then last night I had to go and dream about you, and guess what? I've spent the whole day thinking of you...Guess it shows I do still care no matter how much I try not to.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 21st 2012, 09:28 PM
As much as I want things to get better in both of our lives, I worry that if we don't have our usual problems, there will be nothing for us to talk about.. and I'll lose you.
"I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it." - Jonathan Safran Foer
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 22nd 2012, 01:41 AM
I have been depressed for five years, have done various things to harm myself, thought about killing myself very often, and my parents think I'm just over-dramatic. I need help.
Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 22nd 2012, 07:54 PM
i know your thoughts.
you put me through hell every fucking day.
i hate you.
and you're too close to the edge. you have made me so fucking paranoid. you made it so i can't trust anyone. you make me think i'm crazy. you're the one that needs help. i love you.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 23rd 2012, 11:33 PM
Little things trigger me, but I pretend to be strong.
No one will ever love a fuck up like me, I can't even succeed in being a female. My family probably thinks I'm a failure.
I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 28th 2012, 03:38 PM
I made a huge mistake. Got recorded "doing stuff" online.
Now, see the problem is I can't tell if it was a sick joke or not. And I'm sick over it. My family and friends...
They'll hate me for it.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
May 29th 2012, 12:29 AM
Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me. If all this is a phase and I'm just screaming for attention, but other times I know that I am right. This scares me. I wish I could just be normal, just be like all the other little girls and boys, in the right gender and in the right body, falling for heterosexual relationships. But I'm not. I guess that makes me messed up.
I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave