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Name: Jay
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This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:35 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I'll enjoy this high,
before I die.
It won't last long I know,
for I can't fight this foe.
He comes, stalking, at night and day,
I can't keep it at bay.
There is no way I can win this war,
I don't mean to be such a bore.
There is no way to be free,
because, can't you see?
This. Is. Me.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly. 
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
Last edited by Validity; September 10th 2012 at 09:19 AM.
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 09:18 AM
Here's a little bit more:
I'll enjoy this night,
before I fight.
Don't worry, I'll be alright
This here, probably the biggest lie,
I want to die.
Give up,
don't give up pup.
I don't want to live,
but you've got so much to give!
So many say,
but they leave the very next day.
I'm in pain,
what's a little rain?
Is it enough that you kick me when I'm on my knees?
I've paid my fees.
Now is it time to leave?
I wish to receive,
what others search for,
open the door.
Let me in,
it's getting cold out here.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Gotta keep your face up.
 TeenHelp Superstar
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Name: Dez
Age: 29
Gender: Agender
Pronouns: They/Them
Location: Connecticut, USA
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 11:29 AM
I really love this! You wrote it very well. My favourite lines are
Quote:
He comes, stalking, at night and day,
I can't keep it at bay.
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Keep it up!
The sun is always gonna rise up
You need to get up, gotta keep your head up
Look at the people all around you
The way you feel is something everybody goes through
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ELEVATE
Senior TeenHelper
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Name: Hannah
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: NZ
Posts: 940
Points: 14,251, Level: 17 |
Join Date: April 25th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:17 PM
This is really good! I can totally relate to it
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Tribal Artist and Lover
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: my mind
Posts: 15
Join Date: September 9th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:21 PM
Wow I really like this can tell its from your heart and you weren't just sitting there bored you actually put yourself into it  keep it up
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 11:56 PM
Thanks everyone. I fixed up the ending though:
Let me in,
can you hear me over the din?
It's getting cold out here,
so let me in, be a dear.
Yeah, it actually illuminates how I actually feel at the moment, I want help, I want to be able to "get out of the cold" but I feel as if nobody will actually let me in. My depression haunts me, never leaving me, always stalking me and waiting to strike when I start to feel bad again.
Thanks all, I always thought poem writing would be just beyond my grasp, seems like I reached for it :P
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Member
I can't get enough
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Name: Rachell
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: With God on the corner of First and Amistad
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Join Date: July 22nd 2011
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 11th 2012, 03:28 AM
I love this! AMAZING!
~I was always scared of everything, even the carousel.~
~Don't worry about me. I'm sort of feeling fine, but by tomorrow, I'll be back on my feet again.~
-Goodnight Tonight
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 11th 2012, 05:00 AM
Thanks so much
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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