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Name: Jay
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This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:35 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I'll enjoy this high,
before I die.
It won't last long I know,
for I can't fight this foe.
He comes, stalking, at night and day,
I can't keep it at bay.
There is no way I can win this war,
I don't mean to be such a bore.
There is no way to be free,
because, can't you see?
This. Is. Me.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly. 
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
Last edited by Validity; September 10th 2012 at 09:19 AM.
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 09:18 AM
Here's a little bit more:
I'll enjoy this night,
before I fight.
Don't worry, I'll be alright
This here, probably the biggest lie,
I want to die.
Give up,
don't give up pup.
I don't want to live,
but you've got so much to give!
So many say,
but they leave the very next day.
I'm in pain,
what's a little rain?
Is it enough that you kick me when I'm on my knees?
I've paid my fees.
Now is it time to leave?
I wish to receive,
what others search for,
open the door.
Let me in,
it's getting cold out here.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Living the dream.
 TeenHelp Superstar
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Name: Dez
Age: 29
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: They/Them
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Join Date: November 16th 2010
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 11:29 AM
I really love this! You wrote it very well. My favourite lines are
Quote:
He comes, stalking, at night and day,
I can't keep it at bay.
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Keep it up!
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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ELEVATE
Senior TeenHelper
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Name: Hannah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: NZ
Posts: 940
Points: 14,251, Level: 17 |
Join Date: April 25th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:17 PM
This is really good! I can totally relate to it
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Tribal Artist and Lover
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: my mind
Posts: 15
Join Date: September 9th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 08:21 PM
Wow I really like this can tell its from your heart and you weren't just sitting there bored you actually put yourself into it  keep it up
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 10th 2012, 11:56 PM
Thanks everyone. I fixed up the ending though:
Let me in,
can you hear me over the din?
It's getting cold out here,
so let me in, be a dear.
Yeah, it actually illuminates how I actually feel at the moment, I want help, I want to be able to "get out of the cold" but I feel as if nobody will actually let me in. My depression haunts me, never leaving me, always stalking me and waiting to strike when I start to feel bad again.
Thanks all, I always thought poem writing would be just beyond my grasp, seems like I reached for it :P
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Member
I can't get enough
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Name: Rachell
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: With God on the corner of First and Amistad
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Join Date: July 22nd 2011
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 11th 2012, 03:28 AM
I love this! AMAZING!
~I was always scared of everything, even the carousel.~
~Don't worry about me. I'm sort of feeling fine, but by tomorrow, I'll be back on my feet again.~
-Goodnight Tonight
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 24th 2012
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Re: This is me (try at a poem) -
September 11th 2012, 05:00 AM
Thanks so much
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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