Triggering: A poem I'm working on writing

[perfectlyfalling]

I'm so sick of wanting to die. I wake up in the morning and see images flash in my head of nights I lost control and the faces of men whose eyes are just a colorless waste land. Blurred figures stand over me and I count the seconds till it's over. I keep telling myself: I've been through worse, I can make it out of this. But what if this right now is the worst thing? I come back and lay still on the sheets sweaty and I remind myself I'm safe. I plan out my death like a fighter pilot plans his attack. I am dripping with self-deprecating words and the thoughts? They don't stop. I stare at these scars and wonder if I was just a little stronger I could have stopped myself. As a girl my life was the injustice that occurs before the law and order theme song. Which sounds trivial but maybe if I had had an Olivia Benson I could have made a better life for myself.

I think this is well written, I'm sorry you've gone through this. I think a lot of abuse victims wish they had an Olivia Benson by their side, and especially as a child going through trauma children shouldn't have to experience. If you ever need to chat or want to reach out to us, don't hesitate to.

[Ennui.]

The emotion and description in this are amazing. Stay strong, you can do this!

[Storyteller.]

I really like the emotion behind this, and the reference at the end. I'm curious, though: you said this was a poem you were working on, so does that mean this is the finished piece or just what you've done so far? Either way it's really good, and I hope to see more of your work in here sometime.

[Kintsukuroi.]

This is really powerful and I can relate to a certain extent so I hope you're hanging in there. I would like to read the rest of the poem, if you decide to add more that is.