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Loneliness If you're feeling lonely, isolated or down and need support and encouragement, this is a forum for you.
Being gay is lonely -
November 27th 2011, 02:25 PM
Heellooo
So,
Anyone else think that being gay is kinda lonely? I mean I've been out for over two years now and I've yet to have a boyfriend or have anyone else want me haha. I dunno if it's just me but I never seem to meet gay guys aside from randoms on nights out who really just want to sleep with you. At present I only know two gay guys aside from myself.
I would say I was pretty sociable, I have a lot of friends and have started doing a lot of new things over the past few years and still haven't really met anyone. I even joined my uni's LGBT society but I only went for a couple of weeks cause they all already knew each other and I felt totally out of place and like I didn't fit in.
I'm actually really lonely. All of my friends are straight and most of them either are in a relationship or have had multiple and it kinda makes you feel left out. I went to counselling for a while because I have cripplingly low self-esteem and she said that the reason I want a boyfriend so much is so I can feel as though someone loves me as a substitute for the fact that I don't love myself and that it really wouldn't solve anything.
But that is off topic. I was just wondering if anyone else thinks that in comparison to being straight being gay is very lonely? Because there are less gay people than straight people I suppose :P
Re: Being gay is lonely -
November 27th 2011, 08:34 PM
I think it could go either way. For some it might be lonely, but for others, they seem to trade each other like pokemon cards. As for myself, it was very lonely for me before I met my current girlfriend. I've only been with one other person, but that was a long distance relationship and I was only with her because I had such low self-esteem and I didn't think I could get anyone else. I very much regret being in that relationship.
I didn't meet my current girlfriend until I started going to this LGBT youth center. At first, I felt really out of place like you did, because they all knew each other. But I stuck with it and now they're like my second family. It just takes a while. Maybe you should try going back.
You do need to learn to love yourself, though. I believe that you need to have love for yourself and your life before you can share that love with anyone else. Live for yourself instead of spending your time trying to find someone to love you. Love will find you eventually, even if you aren't looking.
Re: Being gay is lonely -
November 29th 2011, 12:23 AM
Hey!
Being gay at that age can be very lonely, especially if you don't know anyone you can relate too.
Is there any gay youth center around that you could start hanging out at? or a gay center in general? Or even just a gay area in the city you live in. I know just being in the culture can really help or just having a friend or two to relate to.
I hope there is something out there and don't feel rushed to jump into a relationship, take your time and get to know yourself. It will be worth it. Just make a good support system and some gay friends.
~Chasers
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
-SuperChick