Pleas help I can’t cum and get boners while getting bjs

[AMA on teenhelp]

I am really ashamed of this what every happends to me I can’t get boners or cum when having sexual activity i really need help ASAP. The only for me to get hard is just when I fap my self and then it doesn’t een last that long




Edit I also can’t get hard when she faps me only if I do it my self

[Ennui.]

Do you have any stress or anxiety around sexual activity? That can sometimes make it hard to have an erection or to finish. It may help to try and think calming, positive thoughts and to breathe. Foreplay before getting into the sexual activity may also help with nerves and put you in the mood. It may help to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling if you are nervous to ease your mind as well!

[JustTheKeags]

im having this same issue. i was about to do this girl, and then i magically became unhorny.

[Latte]

I'm wondering if you have some performance anxiety (e.g. if you really want to impress her ,please her, etc etc) it might cause anxiety, which can affect heart rate, blood flow, etc, and its quite common for men's penis's to become flaccid under such circumstances.

I can't really get into details on the forum, but what might help is maybe if you get it started yourself (masturbating together is something many couples enjoy) and get used to getting hard around her... then slowly have her take over the process. I'm sure she's noticed by now that your penis is struggling in her presence (no shade, but it's just what's happening) and it's only going to increase anxiety (and decrease it getting up) if you keep hoping that next time, next time, next time it will work. So that's why I suggest pivoting and trying things like masturbating together, you can always kiss and touch while doing it too. It might help with your performance issues to ease in like that

[Borrows]

You better go to the doctor!

[tombaker]

You better go to the doctor!

[InnesHilton]

Originally Posted by AMA on teenhelp

I am really ashamed of this what every happends to me I can’t get boners or cum when having sexual activity i really need help ASAP. The only for me to get hard is just when I fap my self and then it doesn’t een last that long




Edit I also can’t get hard when she faps me only if I do it my self

First of all hi there! Secondly, what is your age? I'm only curious to know this as it could be an important factor as to why this is happening. Have you been very much sexually active before said encounters? I think, based on what little i know of course, that what is happening is that you aren't allowing yourself to be stimulated in the moment. Yes you do it yourself, yes it works. But that's only because you're used to it on your own without any prying eyes.

When you're with another person it's important to remember two things, One: You cannot worry about your ability to keep an erection whilst it's happening, if you're worrying about it that almost definitely means you aren't fully engaged in what's about to happen between you and your partner so,my advice - DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. And Two:You have to allow yourself to be immersed in the moment or else the stimulation and therefore your maintained erection won't possibly last. Take this from someone who knows. I personally have a strong and powerful...appendage... when i am correctly stimulated.
I was once with a partner who treated sexual arousal like it was a switch you could turn on and off so for a while i thought i was broken 'down there' but turns out it was purely situational. I hope my advice reaches you well and furthermore does NOT creep you out. I'm here purely for informative purposes. Feel free to message me directly if you are to need any further advice, happy hunting!

[Katyleen]

That is ok. Just not nerves. I had same problems. Just nevermind. All problems only in your mind.