Female Advice Preferred: 15 and pregnant please help

[Emm15]

I have recently found out that I am pregnant and I am only fifteen years old. I told my parents earlier today and am now living with my boyfriend. They said that I have to keep the baby and raise it on my own. I am having to grow up a lot quicker than expected. I barely know how to hold a baby and now I am going to be a mom please help. Also I haven't been to the doctors yet and am probably going to go in a couple days please help me this is really tough on me and my family.

[escape_thereal_world]

A lot of women start out without knowing how to hold a baby, change a diaper, what to feed babies, etc. A lot of it will come naturally, and some of it you learn from nurses, classes, etc.

Taking a mothering class might be beneficial to you and your boyfriend. Most of the time they are free or really cheap. Speak to your local hospital or women's clinic (Planned Parenthood is one) about any classes they know about. Asking the doctor you see might help as well, as they might have some suggestions.

I know this is hard and scary, but since you are keeping the baby, try to think of it as a blessing. You get to bring life into this world. Sure it's not the way you wanted or planned, but it is happening and since you are keeping it, it's better to be happy about it (for all of you) than to be upset and hating it (the situation).

Definitely start saving up, let friends and extended family know you are expecting and see if anyone would be interested in a baby shower. This is where many parents get a lot of the needed supplies, cutting costs greatly.

You can also see about government assistance for money, such as food for the baby WIC (in the US) and Food Stamps (food for you and the household, including the baby). There is also HUD (pays some of the rent depending on number of occupants and income).

If you have further questions, please feel free to PM myself or Shannon (the other mod of this forum), or post in here. No question will be too dumb. As I said, lots of women start out not knowing what to do.

Also, your local library will be your best friend right now, Read up on the pregnancy books. What to Expect When Expecting is actually a fairly good book to prepare for a baby. There are several other pregnancy books to help you learn about the pregnancy and labor processes, the baby and how to handle it and options for when it cries, and toddler years.

Hang in there. I know you aren't excited or happy about it right now, but Congratulations. Try to make it a happy thing.

[MEJ]

I know this is probably a very scary time for you at the moment, but try not to stress too much as this could harm the baby. You should be proud of yourself for making the decision to keep your baby at such a young age. I have recently have a little boy, and I too was a wreck when I found out I was pregnant, but slowly everything falls into place. No-one is born a mother, it takes time and there will be so much for you to learn, but every hurdle will be so worth it in the long run, that I can promise you!
If you want any advice or help, feel free to pm me. I have recently been there, everything will be okay

[L'Aviatrice]

I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, but you sound like a very strong girl! I know your parents are making you keep your baby and I really hope they are not doing that as a form of punishment to make you "learn a lesson." That defeats the purpose of being a good parent. Raising a child, even at your age, should be YOUR decision, and if for ANY reason at all you feel like you cannot provide a healthy and happy childhood for your baby, I urge you to consider adoption, for the best interests of your child. Good mothers are selfless and will do anything for the well-being of their child, and if that means adopting your baby out to a good home with adult parents, then I think that that is the action you should take.
And, if you choose not to adopt out, being a mother at 15/16 (however old you are when you have the child) is going to be incredibly difficult. Your boyfriend, as the father of this child, has an obligation to care for this child just as much as you do. Can you count on him 100% to do that? Are you going to stay in school to prepare yourself for employment and thus a means of earning income to support your child? Is your boyfriend going to financially support your child? The cost of raising a child to age 18 is, on average, $235,000... that's over four times the amount of money that an average person earns in just one year. Who is going to take care of the finances if you and your boyfriend are still years away from finishing school?
I really hope I'm not coming across as gruff and comfortless... I really do wholeheartedly wish the absolute best for you and your child! But this still is a VERY serious matter that will affect the life of your child for as long as he/she lives, and I just wanted to bring up some things for you to consider and put a lot of thought into.
Again, I hope everything comes through in the end. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to message me!

[Emm15]

I have talked to my parents and they said that they are willing to help me financially with the baby so now I am kinda getting excited. Also, at this point my boyfriend is supporting me and is trying to do everything he can for me. I have started to talk to my sister in law who has an eighteen month old for advise about raising a baby. So she is really helping me out. I am starting to get a lot calmer about this situation and am starting to get excided that i am bringing a baby into the world

[Emm15]

When do teens start showing during pregnancy? And what does it depend on?

[Harmony♥]

Everyone is different; every woman, baby and pregnancy. Many woman begin showing as early as 3 months, and some don't show until their 7th or 8th month. Everyone is different. You could start showing soon, or it could be a while. There are no other depending factors.

[sunnicheyenne]

You will have to grow up, but..you can do it. My sister got pregnant when she was fourteen. And she survived. She is now 26 with a beautiful daughter. Be strong. Have a good support system, and just keep your head up. It will all be fine.

[Always *]

Well, I know a lot of girls who are smaller DO start showing sooner, but if you are heavier it can take longer. BUT that's only ONE way of telling. Like I've knows people who you can hardly tell until about 5 months or later but I know someone who was showing quite a bit by the 3rd month.

It is probably a reassurance that your parents can help financially, at least this will make it possible for you to stay in school because you won't have to worry about how to deal with finances. You can keep talking to your sister, but a lot of towns/cities have parenting classes that I think can specifically help young moms, especially so that you can find a way to stay in school because your education is so much more important now that you are in this position.

My mom in an obstetrician so I know quite a fair bit, and I have friends who had babies quote young so if you wanna talk PM me ok