We may have gotten pregnant

[kite8k2]

Well....This girl that I have been dating for a while now might be pregnant.
We arent sure just yet but I am taking precautions just in case. She and I spoke a few nights ago while she was staying over about it. She said she couldnt be pregnant because of her mother and step-father. This makes me think that if she does get pregnant she could be considering an abortion.

This worries me because I am Pro-Life except for when it comes to life-threatening pregnancies or rape/ incest related ones. Im even more worried as she isnt showing signs of being concerned about it at the moment and I myself have been stressing out about it quite a lot. Our condom broke which is why this is becoming a issue. I went to the planned parenthood clinic and got her a plan B pill just to ensure an extra layer of security but like condoms and birth control its not 100%. She wasnt on Birth control because she went back home for winter break while college was out.

What can I do if we are indeed pregnant. I would like to keep the baby myself and take the responisbility to ensure the safety of her and it. I dont want to run off like some people do. I made my bed and I will lay in it. I just dont know how to approach this Abortion possibility. I think she is only considering if because of her mom and dad. By the time summer hits she will be showing more than likely if she is pregnant and when she comes back to school she will have the baby within a month unless complications arise.

I may be thinking too in depth about it but I really want to get things sorted in my head JUST IN CASE it does come to that point.

Any suggestions?

[escape_thereal_world]

Firstly, she may not feel as cool about it as she portrays. I know when I had my first pregnancy scare, I was comforting the guy...haha. He kept asking me how I was so calm and it was really more of a shock to think I might be pregnant. Maybe your girlfriend is doing something similar.

Or, she may just be calm because neither of you know if she is pregnant or not yet. She should take a pregnancy test 2 weeks from the day you had sex. Try to not worry too much.

Go ahead and talk to her about options though. Make sure she realizes you badly want to care for the baby if she is pregnant. And again, IF she is pregnant, I suggest you both see a counselor whether at Planned Parenthood or somewhere else. They can help you two calmly discuss the options.

But first, she needs to find out if she is pregnant. Discussing your options and wants is a good thing to do though.

Hope it turns out the way you want. Feel free to PM me anytime.

[kite8k2]

Thank you for the reply...

Yeah I am worried and scared about it.
I want what is best for us both. I know shes afraid of what her parents think
And Ive already told mine. Of course I am 24 and find it less of a issue to
Talk to them about this sort of thing. They accept it was a accident that
Could not be averted.

I have made plans to go to the planned parenthood clinic here in town.
She hasnt gone into it yet but I have to get her the Plan B pill. I know she
Is more scared about that for sure. Its a public dislpay and thats not what
She likes.

My biggest worry is of course the possibility of an abortion
I live in Oklahoma and they have strict laws on abortion. We have to go
Through counciling first and then the parents have to be notified if she is
18 or under. And they make her have a ultrasound and see the baby before the 8 week period. They are strict and I know that she would have to carry it for at least 6 weeks before an abortion could be considered here
In the state.

[escape_thereal_world]

The sooner she gets the Plan B pill the more effective it is. If taken within 72 hours, I think it's like 87% chance of working. Somewhere around there, at least. And some pills can work up to 120 hours after intercourse. So get it as soon as possible.

Also, Planned Parenthood is confidential and I doubt it's likely she will run into anyone she knows there. So, try to reassure her it's confidential.

And, at least there are some laws on it so she can't just decide and do it. Whatever she decides, counseling will be able to help both of you cope. Hopefully she makes the right decision for both of you.

[Aletheia*]

Kelly has pretty hit everything spot on.

The Plan B pill, when taken correctly and within 72 hours (depending on the emergency contraception you had gotten), will prevent pregnancy. However, there are some side effects that come along with it, like messing up her menstrual cycle. When I took Plan B last month, it was around the time I was supposed to get my period, and it ended up being over a week late. I was worried I had gotten pregnant from a previous sexual encounter with my boyfriend, and stressing only made me worry and stressing is another reason why periods might be late.

Have her take a pregnancy test. If it's been over two weeks since the condom broke, she can take a test and get an accurate result. Or, she can wait until her missed period. But, that's the only way to know for sure if she's pregnant or not. Then, you can decide what to do or go to Planned Parenthood for their AMAZING counseling services. As Kelly said, PP is completely confidential, and she most likely won't run into anyone she knows there. If she does, she can always lie and say she is consulting the doctor/nurse about changing her birth control options.

[kite8k2]

Yeah I got her the Plan B pill the following day.. Sorry I just read what I
Had typed it was a mistype...

PP told me that the Plan B is not 100% and that it could very well still
Get her pregnant. They told me it only attempts to stop the egg from
Being released and it increases the mucas thickness making it harder
For the the sperm to get to the egg. I 100% plan to going to PP if she
Is because I want to get this taken care of....

But now she is acting differently around me
Shes not conveying her feelings to me but now she doesnt want to come
To my place or be around me for long periods of time this week.
I noticed it Friday and Saturday evening. We were supposed to hang out
Spend time together Saturday evening but she said she didnt really want
To be there only to come over for a few and leave. Its not like her to be
That way... Its messing with my mind so much. I dont know what she is
Thinking and She knows everything I am thinking...

I feel like shes kind of trying to avoid me but not avoid me. She didnt
Speak with me Friday at all really... She did however keep tabs on me it
Looked like. It was very strange

Argh this is probably the most stressful thing I have ever gone through.

[SamMarie]

I agree with everyone else here, but definitely communicate with her. You may be stressing, but she's probably feeling a 100 times as guilty as you are. I'll tell you from personal experience that I was 16 when I took Plan B that I tried so hard to ignore anything wrong happening. I didn't even want to think of how to predetermine my future. I even decided to take precautionary actions by lessening the communication with my boyfriend at the time before giving convincing assurance. Either way, be there for her as much as you can and use the choices that can save the stress from elongating. Good luck!

[kite8k2]

Yeah, I want to communicate with her.... Very much. Ive had nothing but fear building up even though I will take responsibility. I find myself talking to friends and family, looking to them for afvice / comfort because shes not there to talk to me just yet.

Its very mind stressing. Im not sleeping well anymore and I just cant get it off my mind because I am worried about her and how she is doing and what she is thinking or feeling.

I dont think she feels guilty, she assured me that it was neither of our faults its just I dont know how she is feeling on the matter or us and the possibility of a child. We have only been together roughly 4-5 months. Im not going to ask her to marry me or anything just because of the baby but I will ensure that everything is taken care of for her. I still think we have a ways to go with our relationship. I think we need to keep building what we have to ensure a successful end , but its this lack of communication that worries me.

Thank you for all your advice by the way... it is helpful for sure...