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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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geez Offline
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Question 14, dating another girl. Is this okay? - October 13th 2015, 01:21 AM

Hi, I'm 14, and dating a girl who is a few months younger. I mean, I'm in 8th grade its not like we're doing anything more than cuddling, kissing, handholding (and don't intend to for QUITE a while) But is this an okay age to date? No, my parents are not aware, not sure how they would feel about it. It's not like we're SERIOUSLY dating, it's an 8th grade relationship. But we REALLY like eachother, and have gotten really close (emotionally) and it's helping me through a lot of stuff knowing that they care.

My real question is, opinions on the matter in terms of :
Age
and if it's okay to know your sexuality this young (it's not as if I suddenly said HAHA IM GAY, I've been seriously thinking about it since I was 11-12.)

Do you think the relationship has good chances of working out through halfway through high school? Things have been going really well and it's not as if it came suddenly. We both had crushed on each other for long periods of time (Me since 6th grade, her since the middle of seventh) And we slowly eased into "dating." We've seriously thought a lot about the relationship, I know its early on (we've only officially dated for about a month and a half) but things have been going SO well. And it's so nice to know that someone genuinely cares about me and my well being, thinks I'm actually pretty, loves my sense of humor, and it's helped me through a lot of things. I know a lot will happen in this school year, we may not last, but it's such a good relationship, and I'm wondering if there's a chance.
   
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Re: 14, dating another girl. Is this okay? - October 13th 2015, 01:42 AM

Yeah, I'd say this is okay. Both of you are basically around the same age, so it's not like there is a huge age difference, and as long as both of you are on the same page with the relationship and what you want and don't want to do, I don't see a problem with it. Make sure that you two are honest and communicate with each other, so that way the relationship stays strong and any problems and concerns can be discussed right away. That will also help the relationship to last and continue going well, such as through high school. Obviously I can't guarantee anything, but there's always a chance.

There is also no set age to determine your sexuality, which means that yes, you can know! Some people have known their sexuality since their early childhood, and others are older before they find out. Either of these situations are fine. It's a gut feeling you have, and you know how you feel and who you like. That is fine! It's completely normal that you know your sexuality now. It's also okay if it changes later on, and it's okay if it doesn't. No two people experience it the same.

Best of luck!


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Re: 14, dating another girl. Is this okay? - October 13th 2015, 05:28 PM

Hey there I'd definitely say it's okay to date at that age. In my opinion, there is no correct age to date. And sexual identity comes to people of all ages, some of them much later, some of them earlier.

I wish you all the best,

Skye.


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Re: 14, dating another girl. Is this okay? - October 14th 2015, 12:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by geez View Post
But is this an okay age to date?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: it depends on person opinion. There will be people who will say that you're too young, but in my opinion you're perfectly fine. It seems like you're going into this relationship with a clear head and an open mind. If you feel like you're ready for this relationship, and your partner is also ready, then I'd say the age you're at is the right time for you to be dating. The age gap isn't that big, you're not rushing into things or getting too serious too quickly, and there's nothing illegal or immoral about the relationship - so by all accounts you're okay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by geez View Post
and if it's okay to know your sexuality this young
There's no minimum (or maximum) age for figuring out your sexuality. People identify as straight when they're as young as you and nobody bats an eye, so why shouldn't you be able to identify as not-straight? Bear in mind that sexuality can change over time so how you feel now may not be how you always feel, but if you're attracted to this girl and you want to pursue a relationship with her, then you're not too young to know that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by geez View Post
Do you think the relationship has good chances of working out through halfway through high school?
As you pointed out, there's no way to know for sure. But from the sounds of it, you're both committed to the relationship and excited to see where it goes, so that's definitely setting you on the right path. My advice is this: don't worry about where the relationship is going for now, just enjoy where it's at. It's easy to stress yourself out thinking about the possibility of it going wrong or of things changing, but it's going to be a lot more fun if you just see how things go. It might work in the long term, it might not, but either way you can enjoy it in the meantime.




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