Dating somebody you don't find physically attractive?

[alexjames]

I met a girl online a few days ago, and met up Yesterday for a walk and chat. She has the nicest personality I've ever known in a girl, she is so beautiful on the inside, and I really like her for that. She has said she can't wait to see me again, and wants to come over one night for a dvd and cuddles on the sofa night The only thing is, I don't find her physically attractive, but has there got to be some kind of attraction to go out with her? I know this sounds stupid, but some advice would be great. Personality is obviously worth a lot more than looks, but do looks have a bit of importance in a relationship? I'm 20, and she'll be 19 next month, so we are about a year and a half difference, but that's acceptable isn't it?

[Delicious Chaos]

Looks are never important but some people would beg to differ. My advice would be if you love her than looks shouldn't hold you back from being with her. But then again you have to ask yourself if you are still willing to love her, even though she isn't attractive. The reason you have to ask yourself this is because if her personality is good she deserves to be love completely and it is not fair for her not to be loved because of her looks. I think personality speaks way more than looks because some girls look good but there personality is horrible... Ultimately its your choice what do u want in a girl??

[Mitch]

For me, personality is very important and I can get along well with those who have a good one, that said, ideally looks are irrelevant but then again, if I didn't find a person attractive then it is likely I wouldn't be seeking a relationship with them but we could still be friends.

[survivor16]

First, I think the age is completely appropriate.

Second, if you love her personality, why not try going out on a few more dates? I've found this out:
You may not find someone physically attractive at first, but the more you get to know the person and the more you get to see their inner beauty, you start to think that they are more physically attractive as well.

It's weird, I know, but it may be the same for you! Who knows, maybe after a few more dates she'll start looking different to you.

Best of luck,
Shelby

[XArticX13]

I know that feeling all to well. I've been dating this wonderful girl for almost a year, I love her more then anything but I'm not attracted to her physical. What really matters to me is someones soul. I hope everthing works out for you both

[jenntasticxx]

Originally Posted by survivor16

Second, if you love her personality, why not try going out on a few more dates? I've found this out:
You may not find someone physically attractive at first, but the more you get to know the person and the more you get to see their inner beauty, you start to think that they are more physically attractive as well.

I completely agree. I've known my boyfriend for almost 5 years now, and we've been dating for 8 months of that. When I first met him, I just thought of him as a friend. Not to say he wasn't attractive, I just wasn't attracted to him at the time. Then, 4 years later, I was hanging out with him and all of a sudden I just wanted him. It was weird... one minute I was telling my friend there was nothing going on between us, the next we were making out on my dorm room floor xD I don't know what changed. I guess I had gotten to know him better over the past few months, and I fell in like with him. So don't give up just yet... something may change. If it doesn't, then just move on. Being attracted to the person you're dating is definitely important.

[savealife723]

Honestly, when I was getting to know my boyfriend, I didn't think he was that attractive. It's awful of me to say but for a while, I was almost ashamed of admitting that I liked him. That's how shallow I was, and cared how much other people cared. I didn't think he was very cute, if at all. However, his personality is incredible and he's the greatest guy I know. Through the months we've been together, I've been able to fall in love with him AND his flaws. Now everything that I didn't find "attractive" before, I absolutely love because I love him for him and I wouldn't want it any other way. Give it time. If her personality is as great as you say, you'll fall for her no matter whether you're physically attracted to her or not.

[Always *]

I think you need to find someone physically attractive. Whether we all want to admit it or not, it is important in sexual attraction. But that doesn't have mean you only date the prettiest boys/girls of the world. People seem to miss understand physical attraction with "if your hot then I'll like you, if your not hot then I won't" which isn't the case, it's just that you need to be attracted to how a person looks, even if they aren't the present "classic standard" is (read: what ever actors everyone says is hot). You can't date someone you think is ugly, come on. And again, not all of us have the same view on "ugly", sure there is "ugly" in your simply unfortunate looking, but there is the simple "you don't appeal to me psychically". And I quote ugly cause I HATE that word, I think it is harsh and cruel and like I have been saying, some merely have it easier than others when it comes to physical appearance, but attraction is subjective. Heck, some of my friends date/like guys/girls who I think are fugly, but they think the guy/girl is hot as hell. And it also doesn't discount personality. If you really like her as a person and the age is good (a year is no biggie, and it's not like she's 15 and your 18 thus flouting consent laws), then don't discount her, get to know her more, if you can't bring yourself to want to date her cause not all the ends continue to meet then you can at least just settle for friendship. Lot's of people need to get to know a person more before wanting a relationship.

[Magical Forest.]

To me, an amazing personality is attractive. I think there still has to be a little bit of physical there, but you can grow to love their looks as time goes on, Just see how it goes

[Teddy Bear]

Don't worry. I once dated a girl who I at first didn't thing was physically attractive, but then when we got closer and eventually had our first kiss I immediately fell for her, and I came to love her looks, too. We're not together anymore, but she's still really sexy to me. It can work for you, too. Just gotta give your heart some time.

[SamMarie]

There's nothing wrong with trying out a date even if you aren't attracted to her. Perhaps she is a nice person. The truth of the matter is, you can't like everyone. If she's not physically attractive in the long haul then that's up to you. It is very true that looks aren't everything, but looks should be something of importance too, eventually. It's not like we can all date the celebrity we want to. I can't honestly agree with the others where I have experienced a physical attraction in the long run during times of interest. I am usually somewhat shallow with looks, but everyone is different. You must be somewhat physically attracted to her if you want to hang out with her because if she was really unattractive, you probably wouldn't. If it doesn't work out, don't sweat it. We can't be attracted to everyone. Good luck!