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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 14th 2013, 02:55 AM

Hey all, so about a week ago I asked out a girl (her friend told me to, so I did). And i fell for her instantly (i onyl knew her a day prior to this) and we have only been dating for a week, and we dont hangotu because she has shit with the cops, dont worry about it. But yeah weve been texting non-stop and she always says that she loves me and doesnt know what shed do without me. I have feelings for her, but im not sure what to about this. I mean i love her, but i kind of dont really feel a connection with her, but that could just be because i havent seen her since liek 4 days ago...fuuck this is such a hard thing to do.
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 14th 2013, 03:02 AM

Hey Jacob.

Well, my advice to you would be to try and make the connection. You've only been dating a week, and more than half of that you've been away from her. It's totally normal not to have that "connection" just yet. Spend more time getting to know her, in person. Go out on dates, hang out, whatever.

The more time you spend with her, the better the connection.

Good Luck!

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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 14th 2013, 03:12 AM

Yeah, but i mean we talk on the phone, and even then its awkward, and her cousin and best friend keep teeling me what to say to her (her friend was the one that told me to ask her out, so I did.) But yeah, I shall give it more time, and maybe spend time with her, but its hard because shes always busy. Also, shes not a christian and i am, and she does pot and drinks, so my family is against me dating her. I'm so unsure of what to do right now. And her friends and cousin said they would beat the shit out of me if i ever dumped her or made her feel bad...so i feel liek im obligated to stay with her and thats nto the point of a relationship. -.- Sorry for ranting!
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 14th 2013, 03:16 AM

Rant away!

I mean her friends & cousin need to realize that it's ya'lls relationship & if they keep telling her what to say she's not going to be herself.

I mean, try and make it work out but if it doesn't then it just doesn't work.

Don't feel obligated to stay. That's a threat, you can report it to the police.

PM me if you wanna talk more, it's easier.


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 14th 2013, 05:23 PM

Wait, you've only been dating a week but you're already saying you love each other? It sounds like you're rushing things.
It could help if you took some time to really get to know each other. That might help you figure out if you do have a connection or not. If you don't, it's probably best to move on because it's likely you'd grow apart eventually. Her friends and cousin said that because they love her and don't want to see her hurt, but I'm sure they'd understand if you broke up with her gently and not just to hurt her. They can't possibly think you two will last forever.
Basically, do what you think feels right. If you think there could be a girl out there whom you'd work better with or be happier with, then go ahead and end things. If you want to wait a little bit and see if you get more interested in your relationship, then stay with her. It's your decision really.
I definitely think you should try and find a day which you can spend with her so you can just talk and see how things go. It's not really a relationship if you can't see each other and only text.


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 15th 2013, 03:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silhouette View Post
Wait, you've only been dating a week but you're already saying you love each other? It sounds like you're rushing things.
It could help if you took some time to really get to know each other. That might help you figure out if you do have a connection or not. If you don't, it's probably best to move on because it's likely you'd grow apart eventually. Her friends and cousin said that because they love her and don't want to see her hurt, but I'm sure they'd understand if you broke up with her gently and not just to hurt her. They can't possibly think you two will last forever.
Basically, do what you think feels right. If you think there could be a girl out there whom you'd work better with or be happier with, then go ahead and end things. If you want to wait a little bit and see if you get more interested in your relationship, then stay with her. It's your decision really.
I definitely think you should try and find a day which you can spend with her so you can just talk and see how things go. It's not really a relationship if you can't see each other and only text.
Yeah, maybe I have been rushing things...im not sure right now. But I will arrange a day soon so me and her can talk and connect more.
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 17th 2013, 02:26 PM

I think you guys need to SERIOUSLY back it up a bit. If things are gonna last, you're in no rush. Chill with the ILYs and the physical aspects, let you both get your shit together, and ease it up to where you can be comfortable with each other. Besides, a week is NOTHING in relationship terms, you have a while to get back into it that seriously.
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 17th 2013, 05:07 PM

Maybe it's just a fling?or maybe she's taking things to fast for your liking,just tell her to calm down abit?
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 19th 2013, 02:06 AM

Yeah, maybe things are going too fast. But i see her tomorrow hopefully so i will talk to her about this and see how she feels. How do I do it without being an ass about it? Like not breaking up, but telling her we should maybe get to know eachother better before continuing?

Last edited by SilentBunny; April 19th 2013 at 02:07 AM. Reason: I suck at spelling
   
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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 19th 2013, 03:28 AM

That's pretty easy, just don't go too far sexually for now, and go on dates that allow you to talk. For example, you could take her out to dinner. That way you can talk the entire time and just ask questions about each other. Or since it's getting to be spring, you could go for a walk somewhere. There are lots of options, just try and stay away from seeing a movie because you can't talk during that.
Honesty, you could probably just be to the point and just tell her you think its best if you slowed down and got to know each other. I think she would understand, and probably would like getting the chance to learn more about you.


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 19th 2013, 03:57 AM

I think i might just dump her, been 12 days since me and her hungout, and shes ignoring my texts and messages on facebook. Then gets mad when i call her out for ignoring my texts and shit. Uhh, yeah i ahve all the right to be mad. Fuuck i cant take this anymore. Am i over reacting?


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 19th 2013, 08:10 PM

I don't think you're really overreacting, that does sound pretty ridiculous. If you aren't happy with your relationship, then it's best to move on. There's not much point in staying together if you hardly ever talk, anyway.
Sorry to hear things didn't work out


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 19th 2013, 08:38 PM

Thanks, but I'm sure i shall find the right girl soon


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Re: Need help with what to do with my girlfriend (breakup or not?) - April 20th 2013, 05:58 PM

Glad to hear it!
I'm going to go ahead and close this because your question has been answered. Feel free to PM me if you'd like it re-opened, or just crate a new thread.


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