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My boyfriend won't stand up for me - April 19th 2016, 05:07 AM

I started dating my boyfriend over two years ago and I absolutely love him and I know he loves and cares for me too. However, recently another girl within our (mine and my boyfriends) friend group, which is predominantly male, has been telling others bad things about me -- how she hates me, I'm annoying, etc. Now, I can't help but feel that all of my friends have turned against me and have also started saying rude things behind my back. I have bipolar disorder and experience depression caused or enhanced by things like this in my life. Between the "bullying" (I'm not sure if this is really severe enough to be classified as bullying) and my disorder I find myself becoming extraordinarily sad and not wanting to go to school as I now feel isolated and spend lunch sitting alone in the library "studying." I have expressed these insecurities to my boyfriend, especially about the girl who started it all, but he refuses to say anything to the girl or other friends and continues to be close with all of them. I'm afraid that eventually he will start to hate me too. I don't want to tell him to give up his friends because that's obviously not what good girlfriends do, however, it is still extremely upsetting to see him so close with the girl and the others while I am now excluded. I also don't want to burden him with my depressing feelings or thoughts because I know that it's a lot to handle. Am I overreacting? What should I do?
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Re: My boyfriend won't stand up for me - April 19th 2016, 08:42 AM

Hi there. First of all, I'm sorry that this is happening... I remember a few years back when I had a "friend" who manipulated all of my other friends and turned them against me. Not fun. As for your boyfriend, I'm not sure what I think... what would you want him to say exactly? Whilst you may expect/want him to stick up for you, he may be shy in that kind of situation and may be the type of person who avoids conflict. And there's also the question of you feeling like a burden to him... again I can't help you much with this, since in relationships I also worry that I'll annoy them or make them feel burdened with my insecurities.

I think the best thing would be for you to talk to him about it. Tell him you're worried he'll turn against you too, and tell him abou your worries.

I hope this works out! Best of luck!!


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