relationships are hard

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]it’s so exhausting to be long distance and i don’t know what to do because i can’t tell if they’re upset with me or what’s even happening and so much of the problems fall to the fact that i have strict parents that don’t allow dating. i’m home from college for christmas and my partner is back home in the state i go to college in. but i think they find it frustrating that we can’t do what normal couples do like call all the time or like be lovey dovey cause my parents don’t allow me to date (ever. they’re the arranged marriage folks). i know it’s hard to date me and i’m not blaming them for being upset i’m just tired and upset and i don’t know what to do to make things better.[/size][/color][/font]

[Ennui.]

Hey,

I can't imagine what it must be like to have to continue your relationship in secret even though your an adult. I understand that you do not want to upset your family and their traditions, especially if you are at home where it may not be safe to do so. I wouldn't enter a relationship that your parents arranged for you unless it is someone you truly love or care about, because even though they have their traditions it is ultimately your decision who you are in a relationship with.

I think you need to have a talk with your partner about everything when you get a chance to talk to them in private. Maybe if your parents aren't home or if you are in a room where your parents can't hear you, you can talk to your partner. Let them know that you care about them a lot but are having a hard time with the fact that you two can't do the things a normal couple would like calling all the time. Maybe the two of you can come up with some solutions together to show that you love and care about each other, even with the distance and your parents getting in the way. There may be things that mean something special just to the two of you, your own way of showing love. Communication is the key to any good relationship and communicating about it will allow your partner to express his frustrations, allow you to tell them what you are thinking, and come up with solutions together. It's not just on you to come up with any one solution.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello,

Thank you so much for coming onto Teenhelp and telling us about what you have been going through and I am so sorry that you have been feeling like this. I hope you will be okay soon. When we are dating someone, we always want to have fun with that person and we do not want to keep it a secret from everyone because that's when it will feel like we are doing something wrong. When it's a long distance relationship or we are close to them, you should be able to let others see the two of you or know that you are on the phone talking. See about talking to your family when you have time about this and let them all know how you feel about this and how it is making you feel. You can also write them a letter if that is better than talking to them face to face. Sometimes it can be better written everything down because you are able to put everything in it that you need to and then you will be able to give them this when they have time. I wish you the best with this and hope that you will be okay soon. Also, if you ever wanted to join Teenhelp, you are more than welcome to and you would be able to talk more about this or anything else that you are going through.