Back into the Dating Scene?

[Composure]

Hey guys,

I'm single again (as of a month and a bit ago). I'm a decent looking guy (I wouldn't say I'm worthy of being an underwear model, or any model, perhaps). I've got a decent personality - though I'm pretty sure it's subjective to the person; I like to think I'm a smart bloke, funny at times and I like to think I'm fairly social (not particularly in any first instance), but I'm not the most out-going guy.

I'm studying law, and am finding it very time consuming - to the point where I don't have the time for a social life outside of mates at University. I've got assignments galore and I can barely make time for dinner, let alone dating. I do however have a couple of months break coming up, which I want to use to the best of my advantage.

So, on that bombshell, I have a simple question: where, or how, is the best way to break back into the dating scene?

Should probably note that I define dating as anywhere from first dates to long-term relationships.

[Aletheia*]

Defining where is subjective. It depends on the type of girl you're looking for. Do you want a party girl? Or someone who likes to sit at home and watch movies? Where can be a difficult question to answer. How is much easier. Put yourself out there. I know it's hard to jump back into the dating scene after being with someone, no matter how long you were together. But, you just need to put yourself out there, make sure they know you're available for possible dating and just be yourself. As you said, your personality could be subjective to the girl, and I think that happens to most guys and girls. But, that doesn't usually mean anything!

As for where, just try going to bars/clubs or hanging out at your favorite local spots.

[Composure]

Originally Posted by ShannonPants

Defining where is subjective. It depends on the type of girl you're looking for. Do you want a party girl? Or someone who likes to sit at home and watch movies? Where can be a difficult question to answer. How is much easier. Put yourself out there. I know it's hard to jump back into the dating scene after being with someone, no matter how long you were together. But, you just need to put yourself out there, make sure they know you're available for possible dating and just be yourself. As you said, your personality could be subjective to the girl, and I think that happens to most guys and girls. But, that doesn't usually mean anything!

As for where, just try going to bars/clubs or hanging out at your favorite local spots.

Hey Shannon. (:

I'm not much of a party animal myself. I was last year and the year before, I suppose - but I've been kind of turned off from the whole clubbing and barring experience after a number of times things have gone down in my city; stories for another time. So, I think I would prefer someone whose into just relaxing and lazying around. I'm better in less personal situations to begin with, but when it comes down to it, I love to be personal.

I'm getting back in there now. I've had a few people tell me they have "friends" they want me to meet (that isn't meant to be bragging in any sense at all), but they want me to go clubbing or barring to meet them, and as stated before, it's something I want to avoid for now. I don't mind going to a bar for one or two drinks during the evening, but unlike my peers (especially in my area), I can't stand being outside of my own house after 10pm. Haha.

And yeah, I try to be as "normal" as possible as far as my personality goes, but I can tend to try to dominate people (not physically, of course - that's not in my nature), which seems to be very confronting to a lot of people.

But thank you for your opinions, much appreciated. (:

[PSY]

I'm kind of like you - a bit distant at first, but I love to spend one-on-one time with people once I've gotten to know them better. =) I'm not a fan of excessive clubbing/partying, either, so that option was out for me. When I re-entered the "dating scene", I just joined more of my friends' groups/organizations on-campus and made a point of going to their events, birthday/farewell celebrations, etc. I ended up meeting my current boyfriend at one of those parties, and because it was at a friend's house, it was easy to relax and flirt a bit. =D Hopefully opportunities like those will present themselves to you as well!

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey,

You need to get out there and try to find some time for socialising. I understand that uni work comes first but I do think you need to spend at least an evening or day away from studying.
Get out there and mingle. Meet people and get to know their circles of friends. Once you get to know some people you'll no doubt be introduced to more people or go to places where you meet people.

See if people on your course would like to go out for drinks, or to do something, it doesn't have to be drinking orientated but that is usually a very good way to break the ice because people tend to become more confident and chatty after a drink... and usually something funny happens, someone does something to make a fool of themselves.

Maybe try going bowling, ice skating etc, activities where people get to speak with each other and interact. I guarentee you'll end up meeting a girl you like and if not you'll end up making some great friends.

Best of luck to you,
I'm here if you need anymore help.
Paige