Rate this Entry

I'm losing control.

Submit "I'm losing control." to StumbleUpon

Posted December 21st 2012 at 02:11 AM by ¯|_(ツ)_|¯
Updated December 21st 2012 at 03:45 AM by ¯|_(ツ)_|¯

Tags anxiety, art, class, computer, control, emotions, frustration, school, self harm

I get frustrated so easy right now and it's really embarrassing.

First time was like three days ago or something like that. I was in my computer class and we had to troubleshoot our computers, I got frustrated after two seconds and was nearly in tears. I was so done. and Mr. M. noticed and talked to me about it, apologizing and saying how it'd be okay. I knew it would be okay. :/ I was just frustrated.

And today I had to take my art project back to my computer class to finish it up. Got so frustrated I basically threw it at my friend and asked him to fix the stupid project, so Mr. M called me up and looked at it and was saying how it looked fine, asking what was wrong with it and I was saying how it was overlapping and the lines were messed up and everything was wrong and AGAIN was nearly crying and I basically walked away from him saying how I'd take a zero and I was done with the project.

Handed it in. Got a 90. So I guess another problem is self-doubt.

I won't see him again until mid January due to class changing and him having a funeral tomorrow so I'm leaving a note on his desk apologizing for my behaviour.

But I get so emotional so quickly and apparently it gets out of hand. I self harmed over it. I might have last time too, but if I didn't I came very close to it. I don't remember exactly.

I bet Mr. M thinks I'm insane. He's so calm and patient but what's he really thinking?

Then today I got anxious out of nowhere. Thanks to a certain someone for helping me through that.

Maybe I'm just out of control.

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 646 Comments 2

« Prev Main Next »

Total Comments 2

Comments

You're by no means "out of control". You can get a handle on this. When in situations that start to frustrate you just pause and take a deep breath, and try to think if it's really worth getting all bent out about. Think about something that makes you calm, happy...like bunnies :dem: Maybe this could be something to talk to your T about as well. Hope I've helped some, and as always you know where I am if needed. :hug: :)

Posted December 21st 2012 at 06:21 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline

I don't think you are out of control at all. I get like this at times and when I was in high school it used to be way worse. I think, partly, because in high school you don't really have the ability to just walk away when you are feeling frustrated with an assignment or something like that. Because, now when I am frustrated with an assignment I can walk away or take a minute and stop whatever I am doing without feeling judged.

Maybe you could try talking to your teachers or guidance counselors about this and see if they could work with you? Like, when you start to feel overwhelmed they can give you five minutes to just get up and step outside or something? It might sound silly but it could help quite a bit.

Also, as for Mr. M, I doubt he thinks you are insane or anything like that, more than like he probably just thinks that you are too hard on yourself :p It sounds to me like he likes you quite a bit and wants you to know what a good student you are.

Posted December 21st 2012 at 11:06 AM by