blah.im kind of excited because he's finally coming back from tampa for hockey. But i don't know i'm not okay, i know i need help. I just don't want to hurt my parents even more. Therapy doesn't work for me and i don't want them to have to pay for me to go to some resort thing. I just know it's wrong what i'm doing and i don't know why i still do it. My dad doesn't care about anything thats wrong with me he only cares about my grades. I tried to tell my mom i should go to the doctor and see if...

What a day!
Havent eaten all day.
Hurting from the bath i had lastnight.
Something in my mind made me fill a bath full of hot water and sit in it......
Maybe its my mate? she is triggering me big time.
"ohhh i slit my wrists last night. ohhh iwant to do weed again, i need it. ohhh i want to overdose again. ohh my lifes so shit. ohhh i know you like him but i fink hees really hott. Your boyfriends a jerk"
RAWRRR.
Y'know what? i give up.
...

okay i haven't cried in forever
but i just relapsed
pretty damn bad
and i just don't know what to do
someone please help me
i hate this

this always happens
when im laying in bed
the urges come back
its hard to explain
i mean its like my wrists are screaming at me to do it to let it all out.
im contemplating whether or not im gonna do it
i know its wrong but it feels like the only way.

okay so if you've read my really long behind blog i posted first you know that i cut and my boyfriend would totally freak if he knew. I mean i really like him and everything but sometimes i just want a boy that can understand what im going through. My boyfriend would be totally close minded if he found out. i live in a small town called Goose Creek in charleston South Carolina and its mainly rednecks which i will confirm i am one but im actually not the same im vegetarian and i listen to rock and...