NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I'VE LOST MY BLADE!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO??? I NEED MY OLD BLADE!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE MORE BUT THEY'RE RUBBISH IN COMPARISON!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO IT COULD BE ANYWHERE! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Had a horrible night. Nightmares. Causing more family problems. Being attacked. Crying. Scared.
Got up. Gained weight since Thursday. I'm so angry with myself.
It's because of Saturday night. Because I ate this morning. Because I'm so stupid and far too dependant on food.
Hazel kept calling me "skinny" yesterday. "Wish I was as skinny as you." She has no idea what that even means. Just because I'm a little smaller than she is doesn't make me "skinny".

...

I feel like this is the only place I can be heard. The only place someone actually cares. The only place I tell the truth about myself. I have no secrets on here it's 100% me. It's crazy that I can tell every secret to people I don't even know, but when it comes to my family and friends I can't talk. I told my mom the the ground is crumbling today; she just looked at me like I was stupid. She didn't understand the metaphor. The ground= my life, it's crumbling and eventually there will be nothing...