Threw up for the first time after eating over new year. Only a tiny bit but now I know I can.

Shit. How the hell did things get this bad.

Right now I'm fighting the urge to go throw up. I ate ages ago, it's not even about getting food out. It's about punishing myself. Because I hate myself.

I have no idea how this happened. I feel worthless.

My best friend of over 10 years came to town for Christmas and New Year's. She leaves Saturday morning to go back to North Dakota, where she's attending college. It was my first time seeing her since summer, so I was very excited. I spent 2 days at her house, and yesterday she came over here. She just left this evening, but it was a painful goodbye. I love her to death, but with her in college we barely have time to speak anymore. She won't be back until summer.

I'm glad she was...