If you're thinking of killing yourself, please read this - a suicide survivor's story.
Source: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education SAVE

COMPLETE
This message is for those of you who are thinking about killing yourselves.

Like you, I did not really want to kill myself. I just wanted the overwhelming pain to stop. It felt like I was having a 24 hour anxiety attack. I could not concentrate. I was obsessing on fearful thoughts and feelings. My adrenalin...

The worst feeling in the world is when you reach out to someone and get ignored.*
I really don't think I can take much longer. My head is screaming at me.*
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I need you so badly but I can't be rejected again do I guess I just have to keep pretending. Keep reliving everything. Keep struggling alone.*
I hurt all over but that's nothing compared to the things going on in my head.
I wish I was strong. I wish I could reach out to...

I miss you so much, I still can't stop thinking about you and what if I hadn't told everyone to block you, what if I hadn't left you alone. I should have been there for you like you always were for me, I'm so sorry.
Spent the last two nights just crying, I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm sorry

OHMYGOD, what a surprisingly expensive trip o.0

See, I didn't book my bus home in advance, which turned out to be a huge mistake, as all the day time buses were sold out, the overnight bus arrived at 1:50am, the 9:40am bus the next day meant I would have had to sleep on the floor of the public toilet or something . . .
The overnight bus was $57, the one the next day was $39.

I caught the overnight bus.

I get $189 a week. I spent $17.80 on cigarettes...

The thoughts are back, i thought they had gone away for awhile because i'm on vacation. But no. I want this to end. Im'm such an idiot, i thought i would get better. yeah right. I can't deal with this.