I need someone so much, all my friends ignore me, no one cares that I want to die right now.

Maybe it's just for the best, maybe it's my time

Today, the 19th June, my planned suicide date. I've had this planned for so long but now people know about it and now I'm not carrying through with the plan today I feel really crappy.
I feel like I shouldn't be here now, that I should be feeling better, like I should be going through with it all :/

Please,just let me die.

Don't see any reason to be here anymore,don't really have anything to live for.

All I think of suicide,it's like paradise almost. I have countless ways of killing myself,some lethal, some not.

But everybody thinks I'm so happy,they'd never know I'm depressed,suicidal,& that I really want to kill myself.

I just haven't done it yet,probably because I'm afraid to do it.

The majority of people I...

Had such a shitty few days, after people finding out about my suicide plans I've been refered to psychiatric wellbeing team.
I feel so empty and alone and like no one cares :/ I can't cope any longer.

I really need people to talk to

Because I should take up potential income when there are other people who probably actually need it more than I do!
(because I'm a horrible person. Deal with it...)



Like every piss-poor person in the country doesn't want one.

Item #: 2
Name: Get a Job!
Set: 15/06/13
Timescale: Short-Term Goals (up...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of depression and suicide in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the Chat Room...

My counselor basically wants me to think more in the present rather than in the future and she gave me an exercise to do where I write down five things I can see, four things I can hear, three things I can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing I can taste. You may see more of these.

And, well, I'm triggered right now so I need the reminder.

I can see

1. My keyboard. Some of the keys are wearing of. The L key is almost completely worn off, the H, D, M, N, and

...

I wouldn't know how to describe this day. Right now, all I know is that I'm sitting here, texting my friends, telling them everything is peachy when they ask, when in reality, I'm crying helplessly.

Today should have been good. It was supposed to be a lot of fun. So why am I so miserable, and why have I been all day?

This morning, my dad took me to a tour of the Phillies stadium. It was awesome - we got to see so many things you don't normally see at a typical game....

Hooray for my first proper Bucket List item!

And (surprise, surprise), I reckon it's going to be one of the least achievable.

Item #: 1
Name: Visit the Maldives
Set: 09/06/13
Timescale: Long-Term Goals / Lifetime Ambitions (3 years - Death)
Description: Take a holiday to a Maldivian Island.

I've always wanted to be a little more adventurous in my holidays - particularly now I go to secondary school and hear of the most wonderful...