I can't BELIEVE it's only a week until Christmas. It only feels like a few weeks ago I started working with Royal Blind and suddenly there's a notice on the HR system that my 3 month probation is almost up. Crazy!
Thankfully I get along with everyone, really enjoy working there, and have been told on more than one occasion by more than one person that they don't know what they'd do without me/I'm such a help because I reduce their massive workload. So here's hoping they keep me!
...

I am seeing a counsular( I thought I was seeing an psychologist) she is nice and all she is helping a little, but it's just not working. Would seeing a psychologist work better then a consular?

I have to figure out all my packing soon. I usually just take one little bag when I spend a night, this time I'm spending a week! I'm gonna need a trunk...

I have to do the packing on Thursday, then Friday I'll be all over the house, running around trying to bake cookies, wrap presents, and somewhere in-between I have to find time to take a shower before I leave! This is just a royal mess.

At the very least, I know ONE thing about Jon's proposal plans, and he says...

Well, first of all it looked like I may have started my leave too early, but it was actually a blessing in disguise.

I went on leave because my aunt, uncle, and my 2 little cousins were coming to visit. Turns out we won't be seeing them until next week. My youngest cousin apparently caught a high fever and got very sick the day they were supposed to come, so they'll be delayed. At least she got sick before coming here, then we'd all be sick. However, I do still have plans to make...

A friend.... Very dear to me... Committed suicide on Wednesday.

I don't know what to think or say.

Last week I was talking to him. He made a joke about suicide. I told him it wasn't funny. He shouldn't be thinking like that. That I care.

He was so funny and happy. He loved music. He played the bass.

He loved rock.

That's all I have to say right now.

I just can't....

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Figured I'd give you some updates before I went to my club meeting.

My dose of Zoloft was recently upped. Now it's about where most people have it. We'll see if that helps.

The anxiety has mostly leveled out for now but I keep having a lot of episodes of depression that last for days at a time. Before I definitely would have episodes of depression, but normally not this many in a row. So I feel heavy and don't really have tons of motivation to do things anymore, but...

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We all love it, and we all hate it at the same time. It's just such a stressful time!

Luckily, my stress was able to go down just a bit after today, which I really needed. My stress level was seriously peaking. Not only did I manage to get out and find a Christmas gift for my aunt today (Wizard of Oz 75th anniversary magazine, she's obsessed with all things Oz), but after looking around and determining what would be best, I finally decided on what to get my fiancé, Jon, this year....