TeenHelp - Entries for April 2011

Why fight the inevitable? (Trig)

Posted April 29th 2011 at 06:43 PM by Anatidaephobia

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 15 Comments 3 Anatidaephobia is offline

Helpless (trig)

Posted April 27th 2011 at 03:23 PM by Anatidaephobia

I don't know why i bother anymore with anything. I am such a mess. Just feel so helpless, useless and stupid.

Today went awfully. The first time i admit the truth and finally open up and it was just dismissed like i am lying or it doesn't even matter and i am just an attention seeking little kid. I admitted everything but the overdoses at my doctors appointment. The cutting, the starving myself, the constant thoughts of killing myself, the feeling of been so low that i can't bring

...

Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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just go for it

Posted April 26th 2011 at 04:46 PM by Anatidaephobia

So i have got another doctors appointment tomorrow. I think i will open a bit more and honestly say how much i have been struggling. It won't be easy but i know it will help and after some persuasion from numerous people (you know who you are :] and thanks for helping me) I have decided that i should say something tomorrow.

I am terrified as i have never opened up before and am freaking out but i supposeits best. Just hope i don't back out last minute.

Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 431 Comments 5 Anatidaephobia is offline

Stupid, Useless, Ignorant, Careless, Idiot ,Die Emma! (Trig)

Posted April 25th 2011 at 09:27 PM by Anatidaephobia

I feel so guilty. I know that shes only trying to help but it makes me feel so much worse By saying all those nice things i feel so awful. I don't deserve compliments or anything nice said about me because i am a horrible bitch.

I overdosed again yesterday. Still feel like crap but i guess that thats what you get. I wish it would have worked and that i would have

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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STUPID, USLESS, LYING, HYPOCRITICAL, FAT WASTE OF SPACE! (Trig)

Posted April 25th 2011 at 01:08 AM by Anatidaephobia

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 11 Comments 1 Anatidaephobia is offline

Sorry (Trig)

Posted April 22nd 2011 at 08:26 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated April 23rd 2011 at 10:35 PM by Anatidaephobia

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 33 Comments 3 Anatidaephobia is offline

Ergh :/ trig

Posted April 20th 2011 at 11:43 PM by Anatidaephobia

Ever felt ignored? Like you're screaming at the top of your lungs yet still noone can hear you... Or they can and just choose to ignore you. That's How I am feeling right now. No matter if I am alone or with people I still feel so alone. I used to feel better been around people. Now I just feel worse. I feel like a fake. A stupid good for nothing useless fake. Pretending to be happy. Faking a smile. Pretending to be something I am not just to please them. I want to protect everyone from me. Everything...

Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Plans (trig)

Posted April 12th 2011 at 08:44 PM by Anatidaephobia

Can't do this. Can't pretend any longer. Can't be who everyone wants me to me. Can't solve anything. Can't make anything better. Just wreck everything. Your stupid Emma....STUPID! A waste of space, time and effort. You wreck everything and make things worse for everyone.

Feel so low right now. Just me the blade and pills. Everything is so loud so noisy. My head hurts from all the screaming. Yet everything is

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Just say you're happy

Posted April 11th 2011 at 11:16 PM by Anatidaephobia
Updated April 11th 2011 at 11:28 PM by Anatidaephobia

I feel so low right now. Haven't felt this low in a while. I just want this all to stop. I want to feel important. I want someone to hold me and tell me how everything will be ok. I don't know how much longer i can pretend. I have no choice though. My mom practically told me if i don't stop "moping around" and feeling sorry for myself then i can get out the house. Ok do you think i

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 408 Comments 1 Anatidaephobia is offline

maybe its best (trig)

Posted April 9th 2011 at 04:22 PM by Anatidaephobia

I overdosed pretty badly last night. Still feel awful. I wish it would have worked though. I hate this. I can't even overdose properly. What hope is there?

So its the holiday and i kind of want to go and see all of my old friends. I miss them like hell but at the same time. I want to stay in my room. Hide away. I don't want to pretend everything is ok anymore.

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Anatidaephobia

Smile :) You're beautiful!

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Views 448 Comments 3 Anatidaephobia is offline

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