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I'm never going to be good enough, and that scares me *Trig*

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Posted October 25th 2011 at 07:20 PM by Anatidaephobia



People keep telling me that they miss me and that we should meet up soon. People keep trying to talk to me, but I don't want them to. I want everyone to forget me. I want them to let me push them away so I can just end everything. I can't handle anything anymore. I used to be terrified of dying now I think that it would be easier than being alive. I'm tired of fighting myself. I don't have the energy to anymore. What's the point there's no guarantee anything will get better anyway.

I feel so alone and I just wish someone was here. Sure there are people but no one knows anything. No one understands what it's like and I hate that.


I think I’ll drag myself out the house tomorrow. I'll go to the park and hide in the forest for a few hours. Probably sit crying my eyes out.
May even take the pills I’ve been saving up there. Not like anyone will find me for a while.

I'm sick of all these secrets and lies. I’m sick of not being clever enough, pretty enough, thin enough, I'm sick of never being good enough for anyone. I'm scared I’ll be alone forever. I can't fight this on my own. I'm so weak right now.

I just want these thoughts to stop. I'm sick of fighting these urges. Sick of convincing myself to stay alive when all I want to do is dying.

I'm not stupid I know no one wants me. No one ever will. Everyone just pretends for the sake of pity. I doubt anyone really even cares.

I don't want to be alive anymore. May just go through with this plan. It's best for everyone.

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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Troubled_Heart's Avatar
    I love you Emma, I don't know how I could cope without you! Nobody is perfect and you just being you is good enough! I want you! I wouldn't leave you a message if I didn't care! I care about you so so much Emma and soon things will be better. If you can keep holding on, please, and things will improve. You deserve so much more than this and things will be good! You will be happy! Look after yourself Emma, you're too precious not to!
    Love You!
    Xxx
    permalink
    Posted October 25th 2011 at 07:48 PM by Troubled_Heart Troubled_Heart is offline
  2. Old Comment
    WhisperingSilence's Avatar
    I care and I would miss you. You do NOT need to take all the pils, you will get through this and come out of this the other side, I know you will. Keep fighting you can do this. Things will get better. You don't have to fight this on your own, reach out to people, talk to me. you have my msn! I'm always signed in so you can talk to me msn if you need to.
    permalink
    Posted October 25th 2011 at 08:29 PM by WhisperingSilence WhisperingSilence is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    I love you kidda. You mean an awful lot to me and I don't know what I would do with out you. You know I am always here for you day and night,all you have to do is give me a buzz. I don't want you be on on your own so don't push people away. You can be helped but remember you have to help yourself too. You can do this gorgeous girly. I believe in you and I am always here beautiful. I love you x
    permalink
    Posted October 25th 2011 at 09:01 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
  4. Old Comment
    I don't know what to say besides you're not alone & I love you dear. x
    permalink
    Posted October 25th 2011 at 09:37 PM by Stargazed. Stargazed. is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Lumos.'s Avatar
    Emma, Please don't talke the pills. Please don't.I really do care. I promise you. You mean so much to me. I really don't know what i would do without you. Its not best for anyone if you killed yourself. You will get better, you just have keep trying. I know its hard but you can keep trying. I know you will make it through this, and one day you'll be glad you stayed alive. I love you. PM me anytime<3
    permalink
    Posted October 26th 2011 at 12:22 AM by Lumos. Lumos. is offline
 
 
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