I'm trying so hard right now. I just don't think it will even be enough. It seems like no matter how hard i try or no matter what i do life has a way of saying. Emma you're not good enough! Makes me wonder why i even try anymore. Makes me feel useless, worthless, stupid. I feel like a failure. Probably because i am one.

Meh enough about me anyway i just want to say thanks to everyone whos been there for me and stuff. I love you so much and i wouldn't have made it this far without you....

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I always told myself i would be a better person. That i wouldn't end up like him. That i would be better than he said i was. I guess he was right. He said i was a lier. Well i am i am lying saying that i'm ok so that people will leave me alone and i can be free to destroy myself however i want to. He said i was a bad person, well thats certainly true. I am horrible. I hate today. Tomorrow will...

There is so much going on in my head i feel like it's going to explode. Can't handle this much longer.

This week just keeps getting worse. I'm scared that on monday i won't go to my exam. There is a railways about 5 minutes away from the school. I can't fail if i go there. Shouldn't be alone right now. But i am lying to everyone. "I'm ok" Yeah you're so stupid. People are so gullable sometimes....

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I've been thinking a lot recently. Every little thing brings a new question into my mind. I'm so confused. Why do i bother? I was thinking loads of people go missing every year and very few are found. So that shows how easy it would be to disappear if i wanted to. Maybe it would be for the best. I mean lets face it who would even care. So what a waste of space like me goes missing maybe it would be relevant for the first few hours then after that nothing.I could just end it the and there would be...

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I am so tired, in everyway possible. Feel so incredibly weak. Can't hold on much longer.

Kept my promise though admitted some things and that i am struggling a lot right now. Don't think i deserve the help though.

Went and sat next to the train track yesterday. Went So Tempting, going back tomorrow after my exam. No point as i will fail it anyway :/ ...