i dont understand it anymore. its like every person ive ever cared about, asked me to stop cutting. im trying my hardest but i cant do it alone and that exactly wht happened im alone again just like before. you dont care why should i ? wht right do you have to tell me not to, but then you do it. then turn around and tell me if i do then our friendship is no more.? for one that just makes me wanna do it even more then before. but how do i tell you i cut because of you. your my best friend, yes we...

haha so i just found out by my COUSINS FRIEND <jessie> that she was saying shit about me. and wht was new about my cousin that i didnt know, aslo Jessie was telling everyone she thought i was pregnant and a bunch of other shit. .x.in my new school.x. so HER friend called me and told me all of this thats going on and pretty much told me that Jessie has no more friends at this school and that no a lot of ppl like her because of wht she did to her boyfriend .x.he got pushed down the steps for...

.x.random call.x.
"hello"
.......
"idk imma go."
"wht why?"
"idk its just different talking to you."
"umm wht do you mean?"
"Raeanne you know wht i mean"
"umm no i dont?"
....
"WHTEVER you know wht.? i gtg bye"
.x.hung up.x
you know wht.!? if it so fuken different talking dont fuken call out of no where like really.? i understand i...

i feel like i failed my job in being his best friend. she hurt him so he hurt himself. /: if she said the right things i bet he would give her more chances. i wish things were better for him. when hes sad it makes me wanna cry.. he has asked me if i really cared, that just made me feel worse, i do care about him. more then anyone in the world. i love him and wish we were more then just friends. but he has never giving me the chance. //: he has told me that he feels the same way but when it...

It felt so right before.. why not this time ? i wanted it to feel like before, the spark. this time there was none //: maybe its just not meant to be, as much as i want it to. i know you want it too but there is just nothing there between us anymore. i like the way you hold me, but when we kissed i felt nothing ): maybe our chance is over ?

people ask me "why do you cut.?" i have many reasons you will never understand, more then i could ever begin to tell you. I have been through a lot i know wht is like to 'self harm' in other words cut, i have and still do. Im trying so hard to stop for my Best friend. although he has cancer and has got the results back and the papers show he has 6months to live ): . i told him many times he HAS to fight it, that i need him, he cant die. but no matter wht the cancer keeps throwing him...