I just want scrape the slate clean. Remove all the bad thoughts from this blog, and create a happy place for me and perhaps, even for others to share their ideas. I want this blog to become something interesting, maybe informative, and somewhere I come to be interesting and have fun. NO BAD DAYS WILL LEAK INTO THIS BLOG!!!! Okay guys, thats the idea, I'm going to put this into action!!

love you all inappropriately! xx

~Brenna

I know I may NEVER accomplish these, but I hope to.

My Bucket List.
I want to:
1. Travel the world with a friend.
2. To fall in love so that my heart takes over from my head.
3. Act in a movie or T.V show.
4. Have a happy family.
5. Meet Jedward.
6. Have a kid and give it plenty of middle names.
7. Bungee jump and or skydive.
8. Make a snowman and have a snowball fight.
9. Hold a sign in a public place reading...

i need to cut.
I cant cut.
what can i do?
my brain is driving me mental.
I need a way out
please
help me.

Our car broke down, and we got stranded at a guy from my schools house. It was awkwardly fun... ish. He made me smile for the first time in a while. Like, in a friendly way. it was good, i guess

I want to die. Right now.
I dont fit in
I cant live like this!

recently, I promised someone I wouldnt cut or hurt myself for a while. Even more recently, it has been a stretch to keep that promise. I find myself tracing old scars and putting haloween tattoos that look like injuries to keep myself from hurting. i have also been dipping tissues in red food die to resemble blood stains... Music and exercise have been my only escapes. I've been eating more normally too, but I know I'm over exercising. I hope Christmas will magically fix my life. I know it wont,...

Fat.
Ugly.
Horrible.
Out of place.
Worthless.
Useless.
Fake.
Unfit.
Bland
Unwanted
Unneeded.

In the past two days I have been called all these things and now they are beginning to go to heart. I don't want them to mess up my accomplishments in fixing/stopping SH and ED.

But what is to stop me? the worlds gonna end and I'm not wanted or needed any way...

Okay guys, I've made up my mind... I'm not leaving anytime soon!

Sorry to all those who were wanting for me to leave, you'll have to wait a while

but to all those awesome people who love me, thanks for making me think about it, I don't think I've been here long enough to leave!

Hug-and-run!

Okay, lets just get to the point.

Recently I've been thinking about leaving TH.

It's great here, and I'd definitely miss it. Things aren't getting better but I think I'm stronger.

I just feel like I don't fit in here anymore.

I don't know.

I dont want to leave! but I feel like I'm getting in the way if i stay. I really don't want to go, though...