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Posted January 21st 2014 at 03:11 AM by Ennui.

Can't do this. Really can't do this. I'm so stupid and won't make it anywhere in life and ugh. Cried like twice today and it put my brain in such a haze. It always makes me so tired and sick feeling to cry. I can't think. I can't type. I just want to curl up and sleep. Getting a headache from the stress I'm under.

Skipped out on therapy on Friday because I just wanted to go home. I hope she still calls me down at some point this week. I she doesn't by Friday I'll probably give in and call her and see if she can call me down sometime because I'm really not feeling very okay.

Cut again today in the shower. Not as much as I wanted to but it still was something. Even did by my shoulder but with the shirts I'll be wearing for a while it'll heal soon. But my doctor totally will notice whenever I go. Scared but it's not enough to make me care.

Just had the thought of "Fuck I wish I could kill myself" earlier. I have so much to do though that if it failed I'd be ruined. If I didn't have so much to do maybe I'd try. By the time I'm done being busy though I'll probably feel better, so don't worry.

Can't cope right now.
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Total Comments 4


  1. Old Comment
    You will make it somewhere in life.

    I am sorry you are struggling but please hang in there because it will get better.

    I think it would be a really good idea for you to call your counselor and set up an appointment if possible. It can feel so good to get in with a counselor after not feeling so good. You will have someone to talk to about all the stress you are feeling.

    If you ever want to chat please feel free to message me.
    Posted January 21st 2014 at 03:37 AM by
  2. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    I agree you will make it somewhere in life so don't worry about it too much! You'll figure things out in time, you've got plenty of it!

    I'm sorry you've been struggling a lot lately but things will get better, just keep remembering that. I know you've had a lot going on lately but learn to pace yourself. Don't let yourself get so overwhelmed with things to the point where you're breaking down, etc. Yes sometimes crying is a good way to release stress etc but it's better to try to avoid getting to that point to begin with, if you can.

    I also agree that you should get in touch with your councilor soon and talk to her, I seem to remember (and correct me if I'm wrong) that usually after talking to her you feel A LOT better about things. So definitely get in touch with her soon and work out a schedule to meet with her.

    As always you can talk to me about ANYTHING any time. I'm always here, just give me a heads up before you start and you're free to talk about anything. Hang in there!
    Posted January 21st 2014 at 04:23 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Wolfz's Avatar
    I know the feeling of getting headache when you're under a lot of stress :/ I have the exact same thing when there is too much stress :/ But you'll make it somewhere in life, don't worry about that I also agree that you should talk to your councilor as soon as possible because it makes you feel a lot better about things if you talk about them
    So hold on
    If you want to talk to someone then you can also talk to me anytime and about anything you want
    Posted January 23rd 2014 at 05:22 PM by Wolfz Wolfz is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Realized the comment I wanted to post here a few days ago won't really makes sense anymore in context so I'll tweak it a bit.

    Crying bothers me too because of all the physical symptoms (headache, sick, exhausted) Remember, it's okay to cry but make sure you're keeping yourself healthy like drinking enough water and such. I really hope you feel better. As others mentioned, and if you haven't already done so, talk to your counselor about how you've been feeling. (I did write a longer post but it feels like it won't sound as good now)
    you can get through this, okay?
    Posted January 23rd 2014 at 10:26 PM by Not_here Not_here is offline
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