*trig* make it stop...

I don't know where to start? ugh. i want this to end. All of this pain, this stupidity. I wanna watch my blood flow out of my body, into a tub of water, and watch the water turn pink with my beautiful blood.
just..make it stop. I want to die, i want to be peaceful and relaxed and not stressed out or relapsing or self-harming or crying or anything thing else. I want to die. it's not that hard..i could just find some pills and take a hand-ful of them. make sure i write a suicide note first. it wouldnt be so hard..i just want the pain to stop..God im so stupid. sitting here crying like a baby being all self-ish with my suicide shit. god. i hate myself. so much.
I want to turn around and tell the cruel, hateful world its lost one more blackened soul. Goodbye, cruel world, i would say.

I want to cut my arms, and die.