I got another phone call and a skype invite from the people harassing me. Nothing is happening, I'm not picking up, I haven't received more messages, aside from a couple of voice mails I can't listen to because I have no credit, and I didn't accept the skype invite. But I can't deny I'm scared. I don't like it at all. My mum is talking about going to the police, but she wants more evidence first. I don't want more evidence. I want them to go away. :s

Their comments have been very...

I have a new phone! Now hopefully those people won't be able to contact me. I'm definitely not giving my new number to my 'friend'.

I'm going to try really hard to eat breakfast today. Then I'm going to hang out with my boyfriend. He said we'd go somewhere for lunch, and my challenge is to eat whatever it is. Even if it's unhealthy. Because I'm allowed a treat, and today is a treat day because I'm spending the whole day with him.

I can do this. I can eat three meals....

I ate lunch today. A nice lunch. With cheesecake for pudding. I feel accomplished, because I was struggling really badly this morning.

I skipped breakfast and then compulsively exercised. I didn't want to but I couldn't not stop, not even when my feet hurt so badly and I could barely stand straight, never mind run.

Oh, and then I had a panic attack on the bus, followed by an obscene text and another phone call from the people harassing me.

But, with...

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I just can't. I can't get all my work done. I can't eat normally. I can't have normal relationships. I'm sick of living like this. I'm sick of feeling like this. I just want to die.

Just let me go, please.

I just want to die. Curl up in a little ball and die. Everything is just too much.

Every commitment I have is too much to deal with.

I'm hungry. I want to eat. My stomach hurts I'm so hungry.

Why can't I bring myself to eat?

I'm hurting.

The fact that the scales are gone is freaking me out.

I was doing better. I was eating more. I was thinking less. I was feeling happier.

Now I'm triggered. Seriously triggered. I need those scales. I need to know I'm not gaining.

I don’t know what the fuck to do.

Well I do.

I know exactly what to do.

Yup, hello no food. Hello laxatives and stomach cramps. Hello exercising all night. Hello drinking shit loads...