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Honoring, What I Lost

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Posted October 9th 2017 at 02:56 PM by itzz.casper

I am here today to honor someone that I lost.

My older brother died. He was killed by his ex girlfriend. My brother is 6 feet under, killer is in prison, brothers´ girlfriend who was gonna be his fiancee is an a mental institution and my nephew, I have no idea where he is.

My older brother, (im gonna use his zodiac sign for his name) Taurus, died on January 6,2017 at 9:39 pm.

He lived for almost sixteen years.

I miss my brother so fuckin much. He talked me out of suicide, was actually there for me when I needed someone, talked me out of drugs/alcohol. Talked me out of unprotected sex, Helped me through my panic attacks. Controlled my ¨crazy¨ ass, when it was needed to. I love my brother. So much. And it is an everyday battle to live without him. Its a thought process of what could I have done, to make my brother still alive.
I can see myself without him physically, but never mentally/spiritually/emotionally

Dead or alive, my brother, will never leave me.

I just, need to learn how to live without him, without the table that kept me up.

I love you my brother, may you rest in peace <3

If you EVER need to grieve about a loss, please come talk to me <3
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Total Comments 5


  1. Old Comment
    ~Show Yourself~'s Avatar
    I'm sorry for your loss. You're really strong for coming here and writing about this as hard as it is. You're also very caring by offering support to anyone who is also grieving.

    He sounds like a wonderful person. He was there for you when you needed someone. By you being there for others, continuing that kindness and compassion, you are honoring the person he was.

    I'm here if you want to talk. Take care of yourself Casper
    Posted October 9th 2017 at 03:40 PM by ~Show Yourself~ ~Show Yourself~ is offline
  2. Old Comment
    itzz.casper's Avatar
    Thank you that means alot to me
    Posted October 9th 2017 at 04:13 PM by itzz.casper itzz.casper is offline
  3. Old Comment
    I'm sorry for your loss and as Susie said, you are honoring him by coming on this site and helping other users out. I'm sure he's somewhere proud of his little sister. Don't hesitate to reach out on the forums if you need to or make another blog entry on this part of the site. Stay strong and keep helping others. :hug:
    Posted October 9th 2017 at 06:32 PM by
  4. Old Comment
    itzz.casper's Avatar
    Thank you for your kind words, it means alot <3
    Posted October 10th 2017 at 01:05 PM by itzz.casper itzz.casper is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Celyn's Avatar
    Sorry for your loss. But you are right in that your brother will never leave you. I'm sure he would be very touched by you honouring him
    Posted October 10th 2017 at 02:34 PM by Celyn Celyn is offline
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