SunShine2002 Offline

So after a phone call this morning I have been started on medication. What I thought would be a release has just made me feel worse and I have not even started them yet my first dose is in the morning. I feel like I have let everybody down by not managing this without meds. I haven't even told anyone yet because I don't know where to start.

At this point I just hope they work. I don't know how much more of things not working I can take.

First Bird

As I turned 18 today I decided to contact the doctors about looking into medication to try and help me deal with my emotions, at the moment they have an online system so I completed that and they got back to me straight away. I have a phone call with them in the morning. I will be difficult as I struggle with phone calls but it is what needs to be done.

Second Bird

My dad had a friend around this evening, we are still in lock down and should...

So at the minute counselling for me is on Zoom and I have been moved back to fortnightly sessions instead of monthly sessions. Last week we discussed the fact that my mood has been plummeting a lot over the past year or two and that as I turn 18 on Thursday I should look into medication as she thinks that is the best option. When I heard this I felt so ashamed as I thought I was handling it and to be told I haven't been and that medication might be my only option kinda sucked. Now I am not against...

Last night I was scrolling through tik tok as I was anxious and that normally helps me get my mind off of things. Well it didn't, I came across a video about SH and Suicide and that sent me straight into a panic attack. By a I mean many. I have not had a problem with these triggers for a while and now they come along and send me spiralling. It is just so frustrating. I did not sleep much last night because of this which now means I will have a hard day today and I am more likely to have more panic...

Although life is not great I have had an okay day today, I spent my morning on my own in my garden which was really nice and then this afternoon I got to go and see my friend as we had some food to drop of, that really picked up my spirits. I have youth group tonight on zoom, I don't know if I am going to go or not as they will know straight away that I am not ok and there is nothing they can do to help so I don't really want to talk about it. On the other hand, if I don't go then they will also...