I gave my guidance counsellor at school my blades and stuff and she said we will talk to me about it after school. I wish I kept them I want to use them so much right now but I guess I did it for the best. I dont understand why I am feeling like this. Maybe I should just end it all so then I dont have to deal with all of this crap.

I messed up I cut myself alot tonight. I feel so guilty. I have so much going on right now I don't even know how to put it into words all i know is im scared i might not make it through tonight without doing it again.