He fucked with my heart.
Nolan.
The kid who is the pastors son.
He dumped my best friend.
Came to me, knew I liked him.
I fell for it
Asked me out .
Then dumped me.
All in one day.
Today.
I never needed my blade so muxh before.
It's incredibly stupid.
But I LIKED him SO MUCH.
He fucked with my heart.
And now I'm using the blade.

Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No it's Melissa, falling, falling, falling,
SPLAT!

\
/\
)==)=O>
\/
/

So, a couple years ago i came out to my parents and told them i was bisexual. and they chewed me out cause "it doesn't exist" they are all for gay rights and such but not bisexual. And to avoid any further problems with them i act straight. but they think im sexually confused. Its getting harder to pretend im not bi. Is there anyone out there that could give me just a little advice? if so, please, please help me!

FREAK!!!!!!!

It's been such a long day, it's only 5, and it's nowhere NEAR being over yet.

Saw the doctor this morning, had a long talk with her and explained everything that's happened in the past year or so in terms of doctors and psychiatrists and stuff and why I was so confused because every different doctor says something different and tells me I have a different problem. So she said she thinks I should try a different kind of antidepressant for two weeks, and then go back to get the dose...

so a few years ago my depression hit me hard. i tried to kill myself, was self harming but no one saw. i started isolating and didn't like to talk. i quit singing which i'm really passionate about. my mom made me 2 appointments with a therapist but cancelled all others after that.
i'm still depressed but i have gotten better at hiding it. sometimes the thoughts build up and my wrist starts begging to be cut or burnt or bruised just so the thoughts will stop.
long story...

Theres one thing I don't understand. My friends tell me to stay strong, keep my head up, ect. But whats the point? I remember after one of my "attempts" my friends told me not to do that ever again, its not worth it. But whats one life going to do? Seriously though. Its not like I was going to do anything productive with my life anyways. I don't see the big deal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't care if someone comitts suicide. I actually spent awhile bawling my eyes out cause...

It's hard...
Now that Bryan and I are over for good. (Thankfully there's some sense there). But I feel empty. I feel like a crybaby. And everyone else NEEDS me for advice, or help.


You so strong, Hope.

No, I'm not. I cut my thighs everyday, cry myself to sleep.


Or..maybe Ii am strong, with the smiile plastered to my face.


Seeing othee peopl happy is what makes me live.

That's right, ladies and gents. Yesterday was six weeks since I last.. how do I put it. Since I last broke skin intentionally. I'd say cut myself, but I do that all the time without meaning to. I'd say hurt myself intentionally, but I did that about 5 weeks ago.
Basically it's 6 weeks free and those 6 weeks have flown. I think it's a good thing that I don't even really think about it much and haven't been eating less or wanting to overdose instead. I'm actually quite proud of myself if you...

I'm so selfish its unbelievable.
It's not right.
I can't believe some of the stuff I think.
I like to think I'm a good person.
I like to think I'm a nice person.
But I'm not. That much is obvious. If I was nice, I wouldn't think evil things.
I'm such a bitch.
I'm so ashamed of my mind I can't even say it out loud, I can't even say what I think.
Someone should come and kill me.
I need to be killed before I become well, I suppose like Tom Riddle....