Well today couldn't have been more boring or depressing. It was boring because I have NOTHING to do all day. So, I just ate potato chips and watched t.v. Because I had noting to do all day I stop thinking about the car accident and its still cloudly outside. I also just realized I haven't smiled in weeks.

Saw my doctor yesterday. Was a mess before I left. Couldn't stop crying, eventually attacked my arm with a blade and just put my jacket on. Was too hot so I sat there with my jacket sitting over my arm. Was the only one on the bus, when I checked my arm was a mess and had blood smeared everywhere. Sat with my jacket covering it in front of my doctor while she said that it was her last day until February because she's off on maternity leave. Recommended Doctor G and said that if the pills were working...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of self harm in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the Chat Room at the appropriate time...

Today was a very sad and hard day. It was also raining all day. It was sad because I am still grieving over the death of my cousin and uncle. This is also making me very depressed. I feel like I have a total dosconnect with the world. Also, today in math when we were working in partners [ I was matched with a cute and hot boy] a girl started singing ' Emily and Roni sitting in a tree k i s s i n g first comes love then comes marriage then the baby' She was so lucky we were in school because if...

Woke up surrounded by blood. Cut to deep last night. Felt good though all the pain, forgetting things for a while. I need to stop this but i can't. I am scared to let it go.... sh has been my coping stratagy for so long now. I would be lost without it. Yet its getting worse and worse. I am just so messed up right now. Don't know what to do. Don't know ho i am anymore. Just want this all to stop. Just want to sleep forever and never wake up. Never face this mess anymore. I am not strong enough to...

i need to learn when to shut up. i let my mouth run away with me again. i knew i should have stopped but i carried on i was telling myself to stop but i just kept going. I have now lost the only person who lives near me who i had any kind of support from. Well done emma...well fucking done...You're a stupid idiot. So now you are even more alone. Why do i have to screw up everything. As soon as anything is going ok. i just destroy it. I think i am scared that it won't last and feel that i don't deserve...

Wow! I can't believe I never cut today... I was in ENglish and this girl took the blade from her pencil sharpener... then this guy took it and pretended to cut... I couldn't focus for ageeeees.. Just replaying in my head the blade across the arm... imagining the blood oozing from the cut... It's so tempting to just get my blade and slice open... But I won't... because I know I can't...

Well after my little mis-hap and the couple of days to recover I am back on track to quitting It's not that hard today because I had a generally good day, but as soon as my mind wanders to cutting I'm struggeling and going mental But I did it for 4 days, I can do it for 5 this time

They know :|.....everybody knows. I can tell. My "so called" friend grassed on me today. It was the most awkward thing ever. I just want this all to stop now.
I went out and brought some sleeping pill well i say some i mean a hell of a lot. I just like the feeling of sleeping and never waking up again never having to suffer through this. I am pushing everyone away. I just want to be on my own now and sleep forever. It would probably be best for everyone anyway. Why would anyone...