Feeling Defeated

So I have not been on here for a while, a combination of feeling like crap and back to school stress. But since back to school madness has stopped now I felt like I should come back.

Coming back to school this year has brought nothing but stress for a number of reasons. 1. This is my last year in formal education, I apply o go to university this year. 2. At the end of the last school year I had mocks and failed both maths and physics so I have had to change corses, now because of all the problems I have at home my school don't want to keep me here for any longer then I have to and for me to be able to get out of my home I have to go to uni, so they change Physics from an Alevel to and ASlevel and I have dropped maths completely, however this means I will not have enough points so I have had to pick up a new alevel and have to do it in one year(normally two years).

On top of that i have also just felt like i want to go to the corner of a dark room wrap myself in a blanket and cry the past couple of days and have started to rub my hands again (something I do when I am close to breaking down, normally followed by a relapse but if you read my last post you would know that I gave away my tools so we will just have to wait and see) so year not feeling great and I am doing my normal withdrawing from everyone and not telling people what is going on soooooooo we will see what happens.

Sorry for that word vomit I just needed to get it of off my chest.