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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 11th 2010, 05:13 PM

Basically, i guess it was down to experiences in my life e.g being bullied, being acused OF bullying, a fairly strict home life, poor social confidence etc.

But i have literally 2 friends in the whole world. I would like a girlfriend and to have some friends and go out, but when i go out, i find it incredibly hard to socialize. People see me as weird.

I joined a dating site because yes, i'm that desperate for some new friends/company. I always thought people who joined those sites were weird too...sure, some actually are, but i think there's some lonely people out there.

Well, i got speaking to 3 girls on the site and we were texting, and they were all friends. One turned around and said i came across as desperate and a weirdo.

I'm really nice, i'm a nice guy and i'd love to treat a girl nice, take her out to dinner etc.

In fact i took one girl from the site out to dinner and paid for her etc and all she did was talk about her ex boyfriend and after the meal text me to say; 'you're not my type, thanks for the meal'.

All i see is girls wanting to get 1000+ friends on facebook, have sex with as many guys as possible and take exagerated photos purely for facebook.

the world sucks right now. if i had someone here maybe to speak to and become friends maybe, i'd feel a little better.

one last thing; i went to turkey to visit an old friend....he's getting married to his gf. I came home and one of his friends asked me did i get an invite? I said, to what??? And they said; the wedding!!!

And no, i hadn't, and still haven't had an invite. Not sure what i did wrong, but even he doesn't speak to me now.

sorry this is so horribly depressing. feel free to pm me.
   
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Re: lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 11th 2010, 07:46 PM

Well I'll tell you right now, best thing you can do on a "Dating" site is put down that you're looking for Friendship, and search for girls also looking for Friendship. Yes, there are single ones who go on looking for just friends. They're less likely to think you're desperate, and you can just, have fun and see what happens from there.

No point in jumping right into dating, seriously. You should get to know someone first before you start treating them like a date. Girls have gone for good male friends in the past, so getting close to one of them may make a nice dating transition anyways, or even just expand your social circle.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
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Re: lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 12th 2010, 01:30 AM

Well, I've been the same way before, but honestly searching specifically for a gf is just asking for heartbreak. You might have the best intentions and want to treat them amazingly, but if you try too hard you're far more likely to end up with random girls looking for a bit of "fun" who will casually drop you.

The nice girls who actually want a guy who just treats them nicely tend to be extremely cautious, since they don't want to end up with a fake nice guy who just wants sex and will take advantage. You wont find that type of girl on dating sites or hunting desperately for a bf. They tend to wait until they meet a guy they're really close too and feel they can trust 100%.

So, best advice I can give is to simply try to make lots of friends. Make friends with both guys and girls, not just girls, it'll help your social confidence, give you people to talk to and your guy friends might introduce you to more girls anyway. Try not to even think about wanting a gf. One day it'll just happen, when you least expect it. Best of luck


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Re: lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 12th 2010, 04:22 AM

Although you might be older than me, I know exactly how you feel. I get bullied...a lot. Not physically, and sometimes it isn't even meant to come across as bullying. But people do it because they know they are able to walk all over me, say whatever they want, and I won't fight back. I am a people-pleaser and I hate it. I have friends, sure, but I am not close to them. There is only one person I would consider a best friend, but even then, it is more intellectual conversation that we have than emotional. Like you, I know I am a nice guy; I get along with people fine, though I do come off as being odd (not in a creepy way though). I would love to have a girlfriend, but I am to god-damned nervous to get the balls and go out there. It leaves you, me, and everyone else like this feeling isolated and alone...there is no one to talk to. This is just out of curiosity, but would you consider yourself above average intelligence? e.g. you score 125+ on an IQ test or you can grasp material and information better than most around you? For instance, I am a 17-year-old who reads about theoretical physics, political and economic theory, world history, and psychology in my spare time...
   
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Re: lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 12th 2010, 04:54 AM

Hey, dont worry, Im in the exact same situation. Heck, if I was old enough, I would try online dating because Im pretty desperate and lonely myself. You just have to with what everybodys saying. If you dont know what theyre talking about, you can stay quiet, but the important thing is DONT BE NERVOUS WHEN MEETING PEOPLE. It always screwed me over. Your actually a little better off than me. I dont got anybody except my TV. And dont worry, I always get ganged up on by my "friends", but they would never dare make fun of me one on one. You have to at least pretend to act confident about yourself. Thats how you earn respect.
Oh yeah, for the last guy, Im smarter than 98 percent of American 14 year olds. See? Self respect is the only thing that keeps me from getting bullied by everybody all the time. I IGNORE BULLYING. F THEM. Why should idiots like them be friends with you? You are better than them.

Last edited by MWF; June 12th 2010 at 05:03 AM.
   
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Re: lonely, bored, no confidence....read if you're in same situation - June 12th 2010, 09:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterofTofu View Post
Although you might be older than me, I know exactly how you feel. I get bullied...a lot. Not physically, and sometimes it isn't even meant to come across as bullying. But people do it because they know they are able to walk all over me, say whatever they want, and I won't fight back. I am a people-pleaser and I hate it. I have friends, sure, but I am not close to them. There is only one person I would consider a best friend, but even then, it is more intellectual conversation that we have than emotional. Like you, I know I am a nice guy; I get along with people fine, though I do come off as being odd (not in a creepy way though). I would love to have a girlfriend, but I am to god-damned nervous to get the balls and go out there. It leaves you, me, and everyone else like this feeling isolated and alone...there is no one to talk to. This is just out of curiosity, but would you consider yourself above average intelligence? e.g. you score 125+ on an IQ test or you can grasp material and information better than most around you? For instance, I am a 17-year-old who reads about theoretical physics, political and economic theory, world history, and psychology in my spare time...
thanks, i appreciate that post. Yeah, i would say i'm older than them mentally and have a better IQ. I don't boast about it whatsoever, in fact the opposite. I dumb myself down so i can try n make friends. I'm into political hip hop, conspiracy theories, guitar etc. Things that make you think, not getting pissed on a friday night, taking pics n posting them on facebook...


Quote:
Originally Posted by MichWolverineFreak View Post
Hey, dont worry, Im in the exact same situation. Heck, if I was old enough, I would try online dating because Im pretty desperate and lonely myself. You just have to with what everybodys saying. If you dont know what theyre talking about, you can stay quiet, but the important thing is DONT BE NERVOUS WHEN MEETING PEOPLE. It always screwed me over. Your actually a little better off than me. I dont got anybody except my TV. And dont worry, I always get ganged up on by my "friends", but they would never dare make fun of me one on one. You have to at least pretend to act confident about yourself. Thats how you earn respect.
Oh yeah, for the last guy, Im smarter than 98 percent of American 14 year olds. See? Self respect is the only thing that keeps me from getting bullied by everybody all the time. I IGNORE BULLYING. F THEM. Why should idiots like them be friends with you? You are better than them.
thanks Mich, appreciate it. Keep your head up man. I'd say avoid the online dating, it hasn't helped me.
   
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