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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Is this Self Harm? - November 9th 2013, 05:46 PM

I don't cut and never will. I'm a wimp and I don't want people to see scars and laugh at me.

But sometimes when I feel the inner tension of feelings rising, I dig my fingernails into my skin...usually my hand, forearm, or thigh...hard enough so that it leaves an indent in my skin, that usually disappears within anywhere from 5-10 minutes. I'm a wimp for not hurting myself hard enough. i know. But does that work?
I also grab my hair at the roots and tighten my fist until I feel it pulling.

Is this considered self harm? And if it is...will it work (like releasing whatever hormones it releases and makes you feel better)? Or is that just in my head..


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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 9th 2013, 06:03 PM

I don't think it's self harming, cause it doesn't actually damage you in any way.Still, be careful with this.
If you needed something, you can find me on chat or PM me, but I'd say chat is the most certain way to reach me.


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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 9th 2013, 07:07 PM

Hey Jess,

Regardless of the damage this does to your body, yes this is self harm. You're hurting yourself with the intention to cause damage onto your body. You're not a 'wimp' for not being able to hurt yourself. That's really not the mindset you want to be in, you're strong and brave for not actually cutting. Because once you start you'll become addicted, and that's when you'll regret it.

As for wanting it to 'work', this is the wrong way to go about it, if you're trying to get a release, I would suggest that you smash something like a plate, shout and scream into a pillow or just vent everything. Because believe me, when you get involved with the monster that is self-harm, it's INCREDIBLY difficult to go back.

I'm going to refer you to this thread on the alternatives to self harm, try some of these out, because in the phase that you're in, these could be really beneficial to help you get out of this whilst you can. This is the link: Alternatives

Please feel free to send me a VM/PM if you need to talk to anyone, we'll help get you through this.

~Jack.



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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 9th 2013, 07:16 PM

I guess it could be considered a mild form of self harm, since you are hurting yourself in order to relieve tension. My fear for you is that you will continue to feel like a wimp and then try something more devastating, thus I'd like to offer you some alternatives in hopes that you can find different ways to cope. There are many other things you can do instead of causing harm to your body in that way. Go on a walk, create some art, or write. There are many activities that can work better then self harm when it comes to relieving tension. You can put all your negative energy into something and then afterwords you have something to be proud of. It is literally turning very negative emotions into good.


"If you touch a spider web anywhere, you set the whole thing trembling. . . . As we move around this world and as we act with kindness, perhaps, or with indifference, or with hostility toward the people we meet, we too are setting the great spider web a-tremble. The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place and time my touch will be felt. Our lives are linked. No person is an island."
   
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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 9th 2013, 07:46 PM

Hey there,

Things done to cause yourself intentional harm or pain to cope with emotions such as tension can be considered self harm, yes. It's not really a good way to cope because you're not getting your emotions out in healthy ways or solving any problems that may have caused you to want to harm yourself in any way.

Jack gave you a good link, a list of alternatives to self harm! You're not a wimp for not wanting to cut, it's actually a good thing that you don't want to cut. But, those alternatives still can come in handy so you can stop doing things like digging your fingernails into your skin or pulling your hair. These are healthier, safer ways to cope.

You can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 10th 2013, 06:43 AM

Thanks for all the responses guys!
Yeah, I've tried alternatives in the past. Usually I write a story or journal entry...but I'm not always right next to a computer, and when I write I get blisters and it hurts. I also draw, but I dunno what to draw lately. One way that works the best is using a punching bag, but I'm scared to go out in the garage alone.
Again, thanks. I guess you just try things. I dunno. I just wanted to see if it helped I guess. I don't really wanna do it, but I don't wanna stop either. I guess I should just try the alternatives more? But sometimes you just need a quick release...y'know?


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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 10th 2013, 01:10 PM

Jess,

I understand what you mean, and I see that you have problems with some alternatives. But it's a trial and error system, you just need to find out what works for YOU, nobody else can help you find something that works for you really.

As for the quick release, I understand that sometimes you just need a release, after all, I do cut, unfortunately. That's why I'm trying to get you out of this, I don't want anyone else to go through the things that I go through, because they're not nice, so don't get started.

I hope you do try out some alternatives and you find something that works for you,
Be safe!
~Jack.



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"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
   
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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 12th 2013, 08:06 PM

Dermatillo and Trich are considered forms of SH if you do it intentionally. Be careful, so it doesn't become more dangerous, and actually become Dermatillo and Trich.

If you do break your skin (Dermatillomania), you have to be careful with the open wounds. You'll always be bandaged and be pouring antibacterial over the wound so you don't develop gangerine or infection.
   
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Re: Is this Self Harm? - November 13th 2013, 03:25 AM

Hey there,

Seeing as everyone else has answered your question I am going to touch on your comment about needing a 'quick release." I totally understand that and I think that is one of the reasons I relapsed. I think you should work on finding alternatives that give you that quick release. It might take time to find those alternatives but once you do I think it will be beneficial. I have found that playing video games on my phone helps me when I am feeling really stressed out and so I have started turning to them. I write when I am feeling angry or upset. I have found a number of alternatives that give me the release I need and I believe that you will be able to find it too.

Maybe you could try using a stress ball or petting an animal (if you have one) or ripping up paper or crumpling paper until it can no longer be crumpled ( this can be really beneficial). If these things don't work try other things until you find the ones that work for you, okay?


I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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