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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

View Poll Results: How did your parents react when they discovered you self harm?
They don't know 17 30.36%
They were supportive from the start 3 5.36%
They took it badly at first, but were eventually supportive 18 32.14%
They were never supportive 18 32.14%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 07:48 PM

I just wanted to know how your parents reacted when they found out you self harmed, or wether they even know. My parents are about to find out pretty soon cuz the school found out and I wanted to know other peoples experiences.
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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 07:58 PM

Never supportive, denial of any mental health issues, still make negative (not constructive) comments on scars. So not great. Hopefully it works out better for you.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 08:22 PM

The few times my mom saw the marks and cuts on my arms she seemed a bit concerned, but generally she took it as something that will pass. Well, eventually it did. Depression hasn't, though.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 08:41 PM

My parents were pretty angry at me initially. My mom tore apart my entire room, looking for any hidden tools that I had. My dad tried a few different tactics because he wanted me to experience the pain that he felt knowing that I was suffering. It took a few years for my parents to learn about my past, and they are supportive now. However, I'm not open with them about anything, self-harm included.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 09:52 PM

My dad has never been told outright, but I imagine he *knows*. He doesnt really react though. Hes not the caring type.

My mom was upset with me, but she got to be helpful after awhile. At first she yelled at me and was like DO I HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE BABYSIT YOU SO YOU DONT DO THIS!? CAN YOU NOT BE ALONE!" but she was super caring and loved me and everything. I miss her.


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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 10:50 PM

I put that they were never supportive. Sure they let me go to therapy but they told me on numerous occasions that I was attention-seeking and should be making improvements. They grounded me for it and yelled at me for it and such. So yeah, never really supportive.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 25th 2015, 11:04 PM

My parent's were sad to see that I was harming myself.


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Re: How did your parents react? - January 26th 2015, 12:51 PM

I put that they were never supportive. They don't really know I self harmed on a regular basis. The couple of times they found out they made a big fuss, grounded me, took away my pocket money and made me promise I won't do it again. I think they have totally forgotten about it now because they never say anything and I'm careful to keep my scars well hidden.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 26th 2015, 08:35 PM

My dad reacted like any E.R. doctor-calm, concerned, supportive....he's an E.R doctor after all, thank god

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 26th 2015, 09:17 PM

Supportive always. Mom freaked out a bit but not at me. She was just concerned.
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Re: How did your parents react? - January 26th 2015, 11:39 PM

I put 'they took it badly at first, but are now supportive' because my mom yelled at me, told me I was stupid, and that I'm going to die from it. But my dad was much calmer and told me he loved me and wanted me to get better. He was supportive from day one even when he didn't know how to handle me. Now, they look at my arms and are sad by them.

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Re: How did your parents react? - January 26th 2015, 11:45 PM

I didn't vote because it isn't something so easy to really say. My parents were not supportive when they found out that I make myself bleed from skin picking. They tried different tactics but none of them worked but they were so worried about stopping the behavior even if it was done by force or by lectuting. At times I thought my dad was son what supportive but let's leave it at the word "somewhat"
When I went to the hospital, the staff obviously knew about my cutting and I'm not sure if they told my dad. I certainly didn't and he never addressed it like he did for skin picking. Plus my skin picking is way more obvious than my cuts.
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Re: How did your parents react? - January 27th 2015, 12:11 AM

My parents were not supportive. My mom yelled at me that I better not let anyone see how weak I was and tore apart my room to look for anything I could use to hurt myself. My father was not impressed but he knew before my mom. He told me that if I was going to do it I needed to keep it hidden. I'm pretty sure they don't think I do it anymore but if they notice my scars they'll tell me or cover up or will make snide comments.
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Re: How did your parents react? - January 29th 2015, 05:33 PM

My parents found out when I was 14, got very angry, told me that it was all attention and that I was lying and it was never discussed again, apart from during arguments when my mum would made little remarks.
When I was 18 and had moved out of home I was admitted into an inpatient unit and after a couple of weeks of me being there my parents found out. They know I have self harmed but think I don't anymore and I refuse to talk about it or why I went into inpatient etc

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 3rd 2015, 06:32 AM

They got so mad, and started treating me even worse. They restricted me from any fun (music, friends, etc) and even took down my bedroom door. I'm never alone, and they wont let me wear bracelets anymore. They said I should live with the shame because I did this to myself and it's all my fault. Of course people have seen them and now everyone treats me differently. They're always rude to me.
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How did your parents react? - February 6th 2015, 06:31 AM

I think it depends on what you mean by "supportive." If by supportive you mean enabled me to continue in my destructive coping habits, then no, they were not. If you mean supportive of my recovery, then yes, they were. My parents were understandably distraught and devastated when they first found out, and continued to suffer from fear and sadness and disappointment over the years as I continued to SH. Eventually they took a stand and pushed me to get the help I needed. I am very grateful to them for it, although I was angry at the time.

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 7th 2015, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by DanceCommander View Post
I think it depends on what you mean by "supportive".
Sorry, I meant like were they angry and disappointed with you, or were they supportive in trying to help you?
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Re: How did your parents react? - February 8th 2015, 07:56 AM

My aunty and uncle (parents mostly out of the picture) took it pretty well - they weren't too shocked, which is great, and I actually accidentally heard them talking one night and they said they didn't want to make things any harder on me than they obviously were and so they were just going to treat me normal, which was really good - like I wasn't some freak. My aunty did get really frustrated at me sometimes though, like she was annoyed that she couldn't do anything to help me, and while it made me so mad and upset at the time, I look back on it now and realise it was just because she cared about me and didn't want me to do anything too dangerous. Mostly she just lets me know that I can talk to her whenever I need to (which I don't, but hey, the offer's nice :P) and that if I ever did harm myself and needed medical attention then she would appreciate if I let her know (which I wouldn't).
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Re: How did your parents react? - February 8th 2015, 01:38 PM

My mum was told by my school against my will, and she was not supportive. She made many unintentionally hurtful comments to me, and seemed to really not understand it at all. After a few horrible days (weeks?) of these comments and questions however, she never mentioned it again.
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Re: How did your parents react? - February 8th 2015, 03:54 PM

As far as I can remember they don't know. I haven't spoken to them in years so I'm not 100% sure. I know they knew of my depression and thoughts, which they were never supportive of, but I don't think they know I've ever SH'ed.

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 9th 2015, 06:14 AM

So when I first admitted to self harm, my mom kinda shrugged it off. Then she got worried and threatened to tell a therapist. Then she became somewhat supportive, she's still meh about it.

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 23rd 2015, 10:24 AM

Well, I've been self-harming since the third grade ( I scratch and used to nail bite). My mom cried when she found out and asked me to stop. Then she showed me her scars from when she cut as a teen and told me that she understands. I'm in therapy and dealing with my anxiety and depression well. I stopped nail biting 3 months ago and try not to scratch ( except for when there's really an itch) So yeah, my mom freaked out and then supported me (story of our relationship).

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 23rd 2015, 12:49 PM

I started when I was 9, same time when all of my issues started. My grandparents found out and they weren't very happy with me, they sent me away, and when my therapist told them about all of issues. They became very supportive but they didn't really understand.

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 24th 2015, 03:45 AM

My mom was indifferent. My dad was supportive and got me in therapy right away. I was really good with therapy but I went to appease them.

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Re: How did your parents react? - February 24th 2015, 04:18 AM

I put they don't know. I usually tried to cut where no one could see, but at one point I cut my upper arm pretty bad, one on one side and three on the other, and my mom asked what happened, and I stuttered some excuse about being clumsy, and my mom just said to be more careful. That was the only time she's ever mentioned it. I don't even know where I would begin to tell her the truth...
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