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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Ikigai Offline
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Name: Sue
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Telling a newly met person about cutting - June 16th 2018, 10:05 PM

Hello everyone.


I went on a few-days-trip and I met a guy there whom I instantly got on well with. We basically spent these four days together and I'm not sure whether I like him or not, but that's a different story.
Today we met for a walk and a coffee. We talked about tattoos and other body modifications and he said that he was put off by people who cut. I asked him why and he answered that he hated the sight of blood.
It theoretically sounds logical, but when I heard it I really felt awful.
I was embarassed by my scars (they're not visible anymore, at least not until someone tries to watch my wrists carefully...). At that moment I really felt like spontaneously showing him my scars and saying that different people cut for different reasons.
I fought down that impulse. I thought it might scare him or something. After all, we've known each other for only a week...


Do you think it's too early to open up and tell such a person about cutting? I told my best friend about two years after I had started cutting, so if I told that guy from the trip now, I guess I'd feel a bit weird. I don't know anymore.


Thanks.
Sue


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Hypothesis. Offline
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Re: Telling a newly met person about cutting - June 17th 2018, 03:55 AM

Hey,

I think "too early" depends on your own comfort level. Some people like waiting until they really know someone to tell them because they aren't sure how they will react. Some people are open to telling anyone about it to educate them. And some people just don't talk about it at all. So I think whether or not it's "too early" depends on how you would feel if he reacts poorly since you don't really know him too well, and your general comfort level.

If you do want to tell him, maybe you can let him know that you were thinking about the conversation and aren't mad at him, but you wanted to give him a different perspective on things so he can get a better understanding about what self harm is. Then be honest and explain. If you're comfortable with him asking questions you can let him know this as well.

If you decide not to tell him though I wouldn't feel bad about it. While it can be nice to change someone's perspective on something, your comfort and personal safety are important as well. So, if you think about it and decide you're not comfortable, it's very okay!

If you do tell him, I wish you the best of luck!
-Dez


   
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