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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
msfsteven Offline
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boyfriend hit me - March 28th 2017, 02:14 AM

We have been talking for six months, he was never violent until this happened. He was iced out, acting weird, like taking his time and moving around weird. We go into an argument, I tried to get him to stop blaming me for everything, then i splashed water on him and i was just going to leave after that, but he said "that's it, you're going to get it" and then he pinned me down and started to hit me with fists on my face. He wouldn't let me leave, he kept saying "I'' going to beat your ass," he kept holding me down and I screamed help cause he lives with his parents but he had the fan on and they couldnt hear. I kept begging him, please just let me go, please and I don't even remember the rest then he finally grabbed me by the shirt and said "I love you to death, don't you ever fucking talk to me again, now get the fuck out" like I was a dog and he followed me outside and I said "I'm going to tell your mom" and he chased after me so I ran fast and siri called 911 and ran to mu car, which was parked down the street because his stepdad didnt like seeing cars parked there. I drove home but I should'nt have, i should have called the cops right there but he's obviously a good liar, and I was afraid if they couldn't charge him and put him in jail then he would just come back for me, he used to sell drugs so who knows who he knows or what he's capable of. I sent him a picture of the bruises that night amd said "do you even feel bad about this?" and he said "LOL FUCK NO YOU PUSSY ASS BITCH" and other stuff.

I just can't believe he hit me and got away with it, and I didn't want to put myself in danger.

Last edited by cynefin; March 28th 2017 at 09:57 PM. Reason: Adding language prefix.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 28th 2017, 05:36 AM

Hey. First off, I want to say that I feel sorry for you. Domestic violence should be a reprehensible act no matter what gender the victim nor the perpetrator is

But as a solution, I got a little more pragmatic solution for it. You can record the next time he beats you and show it to authorities so they'll know what to do and arrest him unless you know that he'll brake your recording device

And remember to go to your parents and/or good friends for support. You don't deserve to stand alone in this man. I believe in you


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 28th 2017, 08:53 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend was physically abusive towards you. Please don't blame yourself for not calling the cops. In the heat of the moment, it can be very difficult to think straight and you did what you could to get out and away from your boyfriend. That's all that matters. If you want to report him to the police, you can still do that. Since you have bruises and have exchanged texts with him since the attack, that makes good evidence, so it would be difficult for him to lie his way out of the situation.

You didn't put yourself in danger. You've known him for a little while and didn't know how violent he could be. That's not your fault at all.

I think it would be best to leave the relationship and cut contact with him. You shouldn't have to put up with his abusive behaviour, especially when he doesn't regret it.


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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 28th 2017, 10:02 PM

Like it has been said, it is okay that you didn't call the police; you can speak to them later if you'd like to report your boyfriend. A lot of times it is very difficult to process things during an event like that.

In the meantime I think self-soothing things could help you. You just went through something no one should have to go through. Maybe you can spend time doing what makes you feel better. For instance, you can read a book, watch movies, spend time with friends, pets, or family. Self-soothe and self-care techniques might make what you have experienced feel a bit more bearable.

Take care of yourself.


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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 29th 2017, 12:27 AM

Hi Mfsteven, first of all let me start by saying that nobody repeat NOBODY is exempt from the law, no matter what advantages you may think he or she has behind them. Based on all of what you've just said he seems a pretty messed up dude and yes you were right to assume you should of rang the police immediately.

By the behaviour he was displaying, would i be crawling too far out onto the limb to suggest he takes drugs? I mean i used to take one or two here and there and i know quite a few people who still engage in such things, enough to know a thing or two and one of those things is that over-exposure to stronger, class A drugs can cause a minor/major psychotic outburst every now and again.

The bit that really got me though is when he relieved you from his grasp and told you he loved you before giving you further abuse...I don't know who you are or where you are but i can tell you one thing, if you were my girl i would not associate violence with love, that's just a blatant no-go area.

At this point in time you clearly know what your options are, and if you're genuinely worried that he may get let off without facing even so much as a penalty then here is what you can do. You can, as another one of the helpful teen help members mentioned; take some form of audio and/or verbally recording device with you when you confront him next. But i advise you not to keep it within visual range as this triggers even the most paranoid of minds to question whether or not they are being filmed, trust me i know these things.
- bare in mind, do not attempt to try anything if you believe yourself to be at risk of death or severe harm.
I really am sorry that you had to endure such painful events from someone who at the time meant a lot to you, it sucks i know.
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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 29th 2017, 12:50 AM

Hey,

I know how hard it must be for you to come to terms with this. There is nothing worse than someone we trust turning abusive and not showing any remorse about it. I don't blame you for not reporting him to the police. You did what most people in this situation would do, get away from him and go to a safe place.

My ex was abusive and I thought it was a phase but the truth it is if a person is abusive once they can be abusive again. We can't be sure it was a one time incident. I did the mistake of going back to him and giving him a second chance and it turned into a cycle of routine until I walked out of the relationship. I don't want you to go out of your way to confront him to gather evidence. Like Holly said, the bruises and the texts you exchanged with him are evidence to this incident. I don't want you to put yourself in danger by confronting him in order to gather evidence. Also, if he chooses to contact you over the next few days, I'd suggest recording your conversations so if he does get abusive, you will have evidence.

I understand how difficult it is to accept something like this. You went through something that no one deserves to go through. I'd suggest doing something to make yourself feel better like watch a movie, read a book or spend time with friends. I don't know how close by the two of you live but if you feel that you are in danger, I'd suggest opening up to a friend or relative and being around someone so you feel safe.

I hope things get better for you. Take care.
Kav.


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Re: boyfriend hit me - March 29th 2017, 06:55 AM

Thank you all for your posts. InnesHilton - Yes, in my post I said he was iced out. And yes, I know that it's not love when it involves abuse, I was quoting what he said.

Thank y'all for the "solution", but putting myself in danger is not an option and I would hope that you wouldn't advise others to do that.

And no, I'm never going back to him.
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