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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Jennaholt Offline
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Is coerced/forced consent considered rape? - December 28th 2018, 12:28 PM

Say you tell someone you don't want to have sex, and they keep asking you again and again, and you say "yes", not because you want to, but because you think you have to or they might keep asking again till you say yes.

Is this situation considered rape?
   
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Re: Is coerced/forced consent considered rape? - December 28th 2018, 06:34 PM

Yes!

It likely won't fit into the legal definition of rape, but that's also why I generally say "sexual assault" because similar things happened to me with an ex and I don't want to have to quibble over how people define rape in order to be taken seriously and if I talk about sexual assault, then I feel like I have ownership over the narrative. But yes, I would consider it a form of rape. Any time sex is coercive and against what you want it's rape / sexual assault

If that happened to you, I am so sorry and please know that it's not your fault. If you are at risk of being in a situation of this happening again, I would consider telling someone you know and not spending time with this person ever again if possible. You can talk to me if you need to, my message inbox is open.
   
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Re: Is coerced/forced consent considered rape? - December 28th 2018, 07:25 PM

I agree with the above.

It's difficult to say whether it would be classed as rape, legally, as that would depend on where you are and how the law in your area defines rape.

But outside of the legalities, rape is when sex occurs without consent. Consent is when you really want to have sex with the other person and this is shown in what you say and do and your body language- that you are reciprocating and are just as enthusiastic as the other person (you may want to look up enthusiastic consent). You also can't consent if you are heavily under the influence of alcohol or drugs or you are under the age of consent in your area.

Consent is not the abscence of this as in 'you didn't say no' and it's not feeling pressured to say yes, or 'giving in' when the person has persisted. In these situations, your feelings (that you don't want to have sex) are not being respected and the person has put themselves and want they want before you. This is not healthy, or equal and is abusive.

Hope you are okay


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Last edited by Celyn; December 29th 2018 at 11:41 AM.
   
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Re: Is coerced/forced consent considered rape? - December 29th 2018, 10:43 AM

In this context, I personally think it is. You said no and they wouldn't listen. They disregarded your wishes and continued asking because it's what they wanted. They didn't care about how you were feeling or the fact you said no. Instead they just kept asking you and asking you until you submitted and bent to their wishes, despite not being interested.


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