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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Parents disagree with relationship - November 29th 2015, 04:17 PM

I'm dating this guy and have been for a while now. A few months ago we got a little carried away and I told my parents because we've always had the relationship where I felt comfortable doing so. I told them and for the first bit they understood that I'm a teenager and it happens (we didn't even completely have sex or anything) but now they are almost completely against me dating the guy. I should add that a good friend of mine has also developed a crush on me and has told my parents this and they keep pressuring me to go be with him instead. He flirts with me constantly and it's gotten to the point where my bf is extremely uncomfortable with it. I no longer feel that I even have a relationship with my parents. I've been falling apart and I've been trying to find a way to get away from the fights with my parents and get out of my house. My parents have told me that my friends don't really want to be my friends anymore but none of them have approached me about it and it makes me wonder if it's just a tactic to get me to break up with this guy. They've told me that all my decisions from recent months have been dumb decisions and that I used to have a good head on my shoulders. Its gotten to the point where Ive debated killing myself. I need help figuring out what to do. I've looked at running away, emancipating, or just dealing with it but I can't make that decision. My bf has told me that I've had to grow up way more than I should have to at the age of 16 in the past months. I just need help... I don't know what I'm supposed to do and any advice helps.

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Re: Parents disagree with relationship - December 1st 2015, 04:00 AM

Hey,

I think you should consider sitting down to talk to your parents about everything. I know that may seem hard to do, but you might benefit from talking it out with them. Perhaps you can ask them to set aside some time to talk about the things you're going through. It might help to make a list ahead of time so you know what you're going to say.

You might want to explain that you are not looking to argue, and if an argument begins, you would like to step aside to let things cool down before resuming the conversation. I think you should explain to your parents that you feel pressured to go out with your friend and you do not have interest in him. Maybe tell them that you don't want to lead him on since the feelings are not there. It might help if you tell your parents that you can understand where they are coming from, and then give yourself the opportunity to explain your perspective.

I don't think your decisions have been dumb at all. You're doing what you feel is best for you and your parents do not have to agree with that, but calling your decisions dumb isn't necessary. Try to use "I" statements to tell them that the pressure they're putting on you is beginning to take a toll on your mental health.

Let me know if you need anything.


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Re: Parents disagree with relationship - December 3rd 2015, 06:06 AM

Thank you so much for your advice. It really helps a lot
   
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