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Thepinkdinosaur Offline
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Unhappy My parents don't give me enough money (trans) - July 14th 2017, 10:17 PM

Hello. I'm a 15 year old female to male transgender and I have an issue with my parents. My parents seem to have lots of money. They go on vacation every year, our house is fairly large, and toys for my little brother (5) aren't limitted at all.

With all of these things and more surrounding me it doesn't make me happy with the things they've given me. I have basic needs but I don't have things I want. I'm given unhealthy foods and made to cook meals for myself and my wardrobe consists mostly of girls clothing (keep in mind I'm a transboy)

All of my life I've gotten gifts from friends and family that were tailored for girls. My parents never learned my interests and instead gave me things such as make up and girly clothing. This only started to go away last year when I told my parents I was trans and that I wanted them to pay attention to what I looked. (This took help from therapy) Although I am gratefull for them changing this I still feel like the past years in my life need to be made up for.

I am very worried for my future because I am currently unable to work and I need to start saving up for both college and my transition. My parents are very unsupportive of my transition and even when I asked them to order me a chest binder online ($30) they said no.

I know I have been given a lot but it's hard to see my sibling with a lot more than me still. I feel as though basic needs have barely been met and they aren't meeting my needs of transitioning at all (They don't even call me by my preffered name.)

I don't know how to deal with all of this. I know I should accept it and be grateful for what I have especially since many others have less. This idea of accepting makes me feel bad about myself for not. How should I get my parents to reccognize my struggles with this and be compassionate about it or should I not bother anyone with it?

Thank you for reading and your potential comments.
   
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Re: My parents don't give me enough money (trans) - July 16th 2017, 02:54 PM

You can be grateful for what you have while still feeling like you have needs that aren't being met. It may be hard, but try not to compare your own experiences to other people's. Everyone's circumstances and life issues are so varied that it is nearly impossible to get a fair comparison. You're allowed to feel the way you feel and your feelings are certainly significant.

You said that your parents are not supporting your transition and that must be rough. Do you think you could ask them for financial help for college? That way, you won't have to save as much for college and you can save more for your transition. Alternatively, you could ask them for money without telling them what it is for.

Are you still in therapy? If so, maybe you could speak to your therapist about this and ask to have a joint session with your parents so you can tell them how you're feeling. This can be beneficial because your therapist can act as a mediator and you may be able to work some things out with your parents.

You could also consider spending more time with people who respect you and call you by your preferred name so you're around more positivity. And, if your parents' actions around your identity become too much for you, you can always take a step back when you need to.




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