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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DisneyGirl Offline
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That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - November 29th 2018, 06:59 PM

Hey guys. I’m 18 and recently started college. It was a tough transition honestly. Since May I have literally lost all of my friends from high school. I barely talk to anyone anymore besides my boyfriend. I’ve just been feeling down and I can’t eben explain it. I’m just constantly worried, trying to work so much to pay for school, stressing about classes, stressing about everything. I’m constantly exhausted and it seems like I can never get enough sleep. And so this first semester of college has went in a way I wish it hadn’t. I was late signing up for classes so mine are all messed up. I only was able to afford 3 classes - Psychology, Math, and English. I’m hoping that I’m doing well enough in psychology and English, but I know my math I probably have no chance of passing. I’m just so down and so very exhausted. Next semester I have signed up for 4 classes and am determined to give it my all. I just need a reset button but I’m scared I won’t be able to shake whatever I’m going through right now. It’s almost scary how little energy and concentration I have. So I may have only passed 2 out of the 3 classes I took this semester. I’m worried that it’s too late and that I’m doomed. I feel like I’m destined to be a failure and I’m so worried that I’ll disappoint my boyfriend and his family I am just so tired and sad and worried. I miss being with all of my friends in high school, I just don’t feel like I’m myself anymore. Everything has changed.
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 1st 2018, 10:51 PM

Hey,

I am so sorry to hear that you struggled in your first semester. I want to start out by saying that this doesn't mean your whole college experience has to be like this.

I can definitely relate to losing friends from high school. When I went on to college, a lot of my friends and I stopped talkig and hanging out. I know that you are super busy with work and class, but does your college have any clubs, social groups, or events that you could participate in? That way, you can meet people with a common interest, have fun, and not feel as lonely. Alternatively you can try and make friends with some of the people in your classes. For me, joining clubs was one of the best things I could have done for myself because without that, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet so many great people.

It won't help as much this semester, but next semester I do suggest utilizing your professors' office hours. These are where you can go talk with your professors and get extra help if you need it. Your professors will really appreciate the effort and it may help to have things explained one-on-one. If time prevents this from being an option, it still might help to email or call them. It may also help to form study groups with classmates, and if you school has an academic success center, you can use it for tutoring.

Does your school have a counseling center that you can use? They can be really useful with helping you transition to college, and may even be able to give you ways to balance everything such as working and going to class. So, they're there for more than just mental illness, and it can be super helpful to have someone to talk to about what is going on.

You are not a disappointment and you are not destined to be a failure. College is tough, but I know you can do this! This is only your first semester, which is one of the hardest ones. you'll be in different classes next semester with different people, and you may be able to set up strategies early on to help you succeed.

I know you can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 10th 2018, 06:17 AM

DisneyGirl sorry to hear that. I think that everyone has some problems during the first semester in college. It's really hard to adapt to a new place away from home very fast. Thus, there will be some anxiety. But you don't need to stress out about your high school friends. There are so many awesome people in college, so you will find friends there very quickly. And a few words about classes. You can always use different services that will help you to deal with a huge amount of homework. But it's very important to develop your time-management skills and do your assignments right before classes. It will help you to stay on track. Everything will be fine. Cheers!
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 18th 2018, 02:12 PM

It is very difficult to change your usual way of life. Even harder to learn and work at the same time. Feel free to ask questions your professors, this will simplify the understanding of the task. You can get one-to-one writing help from [Edited] Do a couple of assignments with their help and you will have more time to study with math instructor. It will be easier later, I'm sure.

Last edited by Celyn; December 19th 2018 at 09:46 PM. Reason: Link is against the advertising ToS
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 19th 2018, 04:09 PM

Poor child... I think you are too tired and exhausted. Maybe you need to have a rest. There are too much work you have to do. But you can always ask for help your friends and family. In addition [Edited] give you time to get relaxed.

Last edited by Celyn; December 19th 2018 at 09:47 PM. Reason: Link against the advertising ToS
   
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Lightbulb Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 20th 2018, 12:02 PM

I totally agree with all the answers are given above. You should have some rest and clean your thoughts. We all have these homework or other lessons troubles. If you don`t know how to cope with all these stuff, ask for help. Your friends and family is your main support.
By the way, I had math troubles in college too, but I found a tutor who taught me and I received my good marks. As I can see from your post, the biggest troubles you have with English. But is that a problem nowadays? We live in the Era of High technologies and there are a lot of helpers online who can assist with any writing trouble. You can try specialized free tools to improve your grammar, punctuation, spelling an so on (I mean grammarly, hemingway, robotdon). So problems with homework and grades are not those things you shouldn`t worry about! Enjoy your college life now, there won`t be any other chance!
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - December 22nd 2018, 01:51 AM

Hey there,

Honestly, you sound a lot like me when I first started college. I found the transition to be extremely difficult as well, and like you, I also fell out of contact with my friends from high school. To this day, I don't really talk to anyone that I went to high school with except for some teachers, but sometimes you do find yourself growing apart from people as you get older and things change, and that's okay! I know that's not necessarily comforting to hear now, though. Like you, I felt very isolated and alone at the time, and I was definitely overwhelmed by all the change.

The first thing to know is that you're definitely not a failure! College truly is a rough transition, and looking back, I realize that I really wasn't entirely prepared for how different it was from high school. I think it's definitely a shock! Ultimately, my first attempt at college wasn't successful, as I realized that the school I was attending wasn't really for me and I needed to figure myself out before I committed to an area of study. I ended up leaving, and now I'm working on finishing my bachelor's degree in my mid-twenties at a school that I absolutely LOVE, double-majoring in two areas that I LOVE. I'm not saying that this is the path that you have to take, but if I'm honest, it's worked out much better for me this way. Don't beat yourself up if you have a rocky start - in my experience, things tend to work themselves out in the end.

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. Do you think you need some time to take care of yourself and get back on track? If so, it's okay to take a semester off, or like me, leave college and return at a later date. Remember that it's okay to not follow a traditional path if you don't feel that's what's best for you right now. I can confidently say that doing things at my own pace is the best decision I've ever made in my life. I LOVE college now, which is something I didn't think I'd be saying!

I guess if there's one thing I want to tell you, it's that it's definitely not too late. I know it's easy to get fixated on your mistakes when you're right in the middle of it all, but it's okay to take some time and space to regroup. And when you look back on this in a few years, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with where you end up. That's definitely what has happened with me! I berated myself for years for not following a traditional path, but honestly, it couldn't have turned out any better.

Try your best to take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to take some time for yourself if needed.

I wish you all the best!

Last edited by Recommencer; December 22nd 2018 at 01:34 PM.
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - January 3rd 2019, 07:18 PM

Oh, I know that feeling. I started learning IT. But my education didn't go well. So many things I don't need and they waste looooots of my spare time. I decided to quit and start self-education. I began with reading blogs like this [Edited] and different books related to web development. I think it's gonna be more successful than studying in a college.

Last edited by Celyn; January 3rd 2019 at 09:56 PM. Reason: Link is against the ToS
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - January 4th 2019, 07:32 PM

The first semester of college is terrible for a lot of us. Personally, I failed 2 courses in my first semester, along with a few other terrible grades. It was a collossal shit show, to put it mildly. It gets better though.

First of all, I would recommend going to your schools counselling centre, if there is one. It might help with your low energy and concentration issues, which is symptomatic of depression. If necessary, follow up with a doctor as well to rule out any other health issues.

Second, see if there are any study programs, tutoring programs, or other academic services that you can access to help you in that avenue.

I'm sorry that you also miss your high school friends. This happened to me too since I moved super far away and lots of those people just stopped communicating with me. It sucked when I'd reach out via facebook or texting and they just wouldn't answer. It stings knowing that you value the friendship more than they do. However, once you start making new friends, this gets better as well. There's no one way to make new friends because you're you and I'm me and you need to settle on activities that work for your life, but you'll also likely start making friends in your classes, at your job (if you have one) etc.

Things will get better, that's really the only thing I feel I can leave you with. Just be proactive wit the academic and counselling services.
   
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Re: That first semester of college didnít go as planned... - January 13th 2019, 05:32 PM

Has your new semester started yet? I hope this semester will go better for you. College itself is a huge adjustment, so I am crossing my fingers for you that it will be easier to get into the swing of things this semester.


--A
   
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