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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#1761 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 3rd 2014, 08:34 PM

I don't wanna be bored! .__.



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  (#1762 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 3rd 2014, 08:57 PM

I'm torn If I don't get a client tonight, I will be bored out of my mind, if I get one, I'm not sure I'll be ready. It's the not knowing that's killing me. I know if I have time to prepare I'll be better if not okay, but I show up every day not knowing if somebody is coming in. If I go too early and there is nobody then I'm sitting there even longer with nothing to do. If I wait too long to go in and there is somebody, it may not be enough time to prepare before they get there and the more I have to rush, the more nervous I get. Thank God I made and kept that appointment tomorrow, I'm really going to need him.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 4th 2014, 12:44 AM

I should learn to just keep my mouth shut. Feel so stupid and bad right now.




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Re: Screaming thread. - September 4th 2014, 09:52 PM

Fuck you. I wish I was gone right now, I can't handle this.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 5th 2014, 09:21 PM

So?
You think you know EVERYTHING about me and my sister. But you don't! You only know a tiny bit of it!!
You said I should be thankful for the things I have? I AM! I JUST DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU! I HATE YOU! BEING AS ILLOGICAL AS POSSIBLE AND NEVER LISTENING TO ME!
I can understand you A BIT but it doesn't seem like you understand me! I truly think you can't even understand ANYONE! YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH! I AM TRYING TO TEACH YOU ATLEAST A BIT BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! OF COURSE YOU DON'T!
And you don't wanna be true about your wine drinking behaviour. It's alright. But you don't want me to tell you that you are SOOOO illogical when you drank just a BIT of wine! AND I AM SO SICK ABOUT YOUR DRINKING BEHAVIOUR! I HATE YOU! COMPLETELY!
You shall never know how it looks inside of me..



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Re: Screaming thread. - September 6th 2014, 07:29 PM

I have to go pretend to be strong for this family that I babysat because I have to keep an eye out on the little boy while we're at his dads funeral. It's heartbreaking because the boy isn't old enough to understand why his dad left (he committed suicide). I hate funerals, and this on is going to be really tough because the boy will ask me for his dad and I have to make sure he sits still and try to make sure he doesn't disrupt the funeral. (He has autism) I get to watch this little boy for the whole night because his mom can't, and I can't break down.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 6th 2014, 07:50 PM

I want to fucking change my name stop messing me around already.


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Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 6th 2014, 09:23 PM

I want to sever the last thread keeping me here and finally kill myself. I'm tired of being alone among the people I give my fullest to. You're never here when I need you, you're never here when you can make a difference, you're never here when it matters the most...


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 6th 2014, 09:54 PM

Found a potential internship site that looks like it would fit me PERFECTLY and it's less than 10 minutes from home. The problem is that it looks like a private practice which may not be allowed and I doubt they would want to take on an intern, it's so much work and liability.

Turns out I was 1 credit hour short, I've corrected it, now please give me my money back. Of course there are no online courses I can use for spring, please create some so I don't have to go through this again. There's only one class like that I'd even consider and I don't know if I'd be allowed to take it. I could move everything back a semester, but it affects amount of time for internship and internshp deadlines by A LOT


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 7th 2014, 08:10 AM

Why haven't you texted me yet?? This is really important, I need to do this before I go back to uni. Please text me. :/


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Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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  (#1771 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 7th 2014, 05:29 PM

God, just fuck you. I am there for you, always. Where were you when I needed a friend? Where the fuck were you on Friday when I felt like killing myself? You were too busy obsessing over a girl who has much bigger problems than you. You are so blind to everything that is going on. I can't believe you. I am so sick and tired of feeling alone- feeling like no one understands me. I'm so quiet. I'm so quiet and no one ever asks why. They assume that I am just shy or that I hate them. Well, you know what? I am quiet because I have been treated like I am nothing by so many people. I am used to being a shadow, and I am used to being a ghost. I guess that you don't care. Maybe you would start to care if I wasn't alive. That's the thing. I am going to continue to be alone and unheard, unless you change. If you don't- if you make me choose and you continue to ignore me... I'll have no other options. There is no other way to escape this pain inside of me.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 7th 2014, 05:42 PM

pls fix ur shit before connecting and stop ruining other people's experience, thx


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 01:20 AM

It doesn't matter if there is hair in the sink IN MY ROOM because you are not supposed to come INTO MY ROOM, you're supposed to clean our shared bathroom and that's all. Please tell me that you know not to come INTO MY ROOM anymore

I'm 99.9% sure I'm not getting the money now so I have to pay over $5,000 in 2 weeks or get dropped from Prac for non-payment. I didn't even realize the problem until it was too late anyway, but they really should make this information the easiest stuff to find EVER. This is a very expensive lesson and mom is going to kill me! At least I know for next semester, but this is ridiculous.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 04:47 AM

It's not fair.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 05:42 AM

Please stop. I thought we were supposed to be friends. Don't you see that you are ruining everything? Can't you just leave me alone? I'm spending so much time and energy on you that I have nothing left. I can't keep on giving in to your demands, but if I don't pacify you you will just give me even more hell. Just leave me alone.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 06:17 AM

Can you fucking stop. Can't you see I'm trying not to cry? I put my headphones on because you are yelling and triggering me. Please shut up and leave.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 06:20 AM

Oh my fucking God.
School.
Fuck.
Shit.
Godfuckingdammit. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Where did i waste 2 and a half months?
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[Edited.]

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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 10:26 AM

The sun is too bright, I have too much shit but you won't let me just throw stuff out, I want to go back to Wales but there's so much shit to do here first. UGH I really feel crappy today.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 03:32 PM

I am 26 years old, I do not need to be babysat by an 19-20 year old RA who freaks out over the smallest little things. CALM DOWN it's not that big a deal and I know from experience these things are pretty much worthless anyway. All I need a a roof over my head 4 nights a week, not a babysitter or an academic advisor, I'm an adult and have an academic advisor, a supervisor, a center director, and a program coordinator to take care of any concerns.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 8th 2014, 07:20 PM

so it's been 10 years since my uncle died, told he had a heart attack. Lead to my parents splitting up, losing our home, all our money, my sister got pregnant at 16 and moved out, mum got depression, dad ran off with a 16 year old, mum is still messed in the head.

just found out, he was fucking murdered in his own home. What the actual fuck. Someone has taken away my uncles life and ruined all of ours too. I wouldn't even be depressed if it wasnt for that fucking murderer because then my mum would be normal towards me. Why do people do this it fucking hurts.



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Re: Screaming thread. - September 9th 2014, 09:25 AM

The rabbit is dead. why this on top of every thing else?


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 10th 2014, 01:50 AM

I feel like I made the right decision disclosing that because you are liable, but I also think that I probably screwed myself over. They're letting me do this, so they must have some level of faith in me and I don't know how it's going to go and it does go away.These decisions are NOT taken lightly or made single-handedly. Even if a few of them have concerns, enough of them don't that I am still here. They have no problem delaying me or denying me clients, we've seen that so I doubt that they are "passing me along"


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 15th 2014, 03:41 AM

i'm putting it all in white because yo, i'm bout to fuckin go off.

WHY ISN'T IT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO PUNCH PEOPLE IN THE THROAT. SERIOUSLY. LIKE, FUCK. my phone is broken and it has been for months now. my phone is a piece of shit but yet i should be grateful i have a phone anyway cause i could still be using the one before this which was like wow we'll not go there. the really cool headphones i got that were like jesus made them with his own hands? yeah they're broken. and i didn't fucking do anything to them. i've had them for two weeks. (although i do have better ones, i'm willing to bet my sister's gonna want them back at some point and then i'm fucked.) i need a fucking cigarette but i have no money and i'm also only 17. also i'm on prozac and going to be on birth control. bottom line: not supposed to be smoking at all. DO YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING THAT IS. my hair looks fucking stupid like jesus fuck i look like a 12 year old boy with a massive fucking cowlick. although it fits because my face looks like god shit on it. MY ENTIRE BEING LOOKS LIKE GOD FUCKING SHIT ON ME. i have stupid homework in english that i don't wanna fucking do cause it's fucking dumb and wow like i'm not einstein but i am better than this. i swear, i really hope i don't have to go to that class tomorrow because i'm like this close to punching a bitch. doesn't matter who the bitch is. i'm gonna punch someone. they're making me take all these tests which could be avoided if i took the pert but NO ONE IS LETTING ME TAKE THE PERT. LIKE FUCKING FUCK YOU UP THE ASSES. lord knows i need a fucking job. i literally have $2.92 to my name. TWO DOLLARS AIN'T GONNA GET ME BACK TO ARIZONA NEXT YEAR. THAT AIN'T EVEN GONNA GET ME FOOD TOMORROW, LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING. fuck. fuckity fuck. and no one here is hiring apparently. they don't want me here? good. i don't wanna fucking be here either. although i doubt anyone wants me anywhere because no one ever talks to me unless i start the fucking conversation. "oh but i need you and i can't wait to see you and i love you more than anything and you're my world" BITCH START SHOWING IT ONCE IN A WHILE, LIKE DAMN. IT AIN'T HARD. i'm done. i don't even think that phrase means anything anymore because i say it at least 12 times a day but wow i'm so done. i don't wanna wake up tomorrow. i don't wanna go back to that shitty fucking high school. i don't wanna graduate from here. i don't wanna go to college. i just want to take all of my pills and go to sleep and not wake up but knowing me, i'd fail at that too. it isn't committing suicide that scares me. it's failing. i want someone to listen to me. do i really have to start hurting myself again or start trying to kill myself again to make people listen? do i have to start ditching school to get you realize that, hey, i'll risk not graduating so i don't have to fucking keep going through this? i ain't worth shit and my exit from this world is way overdue.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 15th 2014, 03:45 AM

Since when does honesty = interrogation and forthcoming = screwed? That makes 0 sense!


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 15th 2014, 09:01 PM

Dad...why?!?!?!?!!!!!!!! I didn't need this right now!!!!!
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 18th 2014, 01:12 PM

You've got to be KIDDING ME one credit hour makes a HUGE difference and now I'm going to owe a loan payment which they were kind enough to notify me about at MIDNIGHT last night. I hope it isn't too much because it's not like I can afford it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 19th 2014, 12:17 AM

Look, I get it. It's not attainable, and I'm not worth it. I'm sorry that I can't accept that unyieldingly. I can't even blame you, because either you don't know, or you do know but you don't know what to do about it. Besides which, it doesn't matter anyhow. It's been the same every time.

And if this ambiguity drives you batshit crazy, then good. We'll call it a poorly transitioned metaphor for my entire life.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 19th 2014, 09:05 AM

It's fucking 2am and I can't sleep and I feel so...alone.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 19th 2014, 09:26 AM

I should die.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 19th 2014, 09:44 PM

I think I may have messed up, I really hope I didn't.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 23rd 2014, 04:12 AM

I know she meant for what she said to help but now I just feel guilty and even worse... i feel like i'm drowning





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 23rd 2014, 04:33 AM

Why must these e-mails come in at MIDNIGHT?!?! Thank God this is the only semester that I will have to do this, unless I end up failing again and I don't think you can determine that based on 3 clients, including a procedure I'd never done or practiced before it was real.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 23rd 2014, 03:28 PM

I don't like uni



Take as long as you need.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 24th 2014, 03:01 AM

Here we go again. My intakes are done in a timely fashion, they don't have to be perfect yet. The fact that they don't get sent to him for over a week is NOT my fault.

If you wanted that done and written out, you should've told me and I can't believe you hear that. By the way, I HAVE A RIGHT TO MY FEELINGS And I checked with him as soon as I realized I did that and he told me not to worry about it. I'm pretty sure he out ranks you..

Tomorrow is going to SUCK and I REALLY don't want to go do that or be stuck here all day Thursday for the next 2 months! If I do end up failing, My hours BETTER NOT start at ZERO!


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Last edited by Kate*; September 25th 2014 at 02:13 AM.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 24th 2014, 02:55 PM

Write, you fucking twat of a worthless person.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 25th 2014, 02:29 AM

She's pushing me away and i'm fucking terrified. Also I have to be alone for all of thursday night and all day friday, that is probably not going to end well





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 25th 2014, 12:18 PM

Out of words. Just out of words.


Who dares - wins.
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Re: Screaming thread. - September 26th 2014, 03:10 AM

I REALLY have to learn to let things go. I'm doing the best I can and I'm GOING to make mistakes.


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 27th 2014, 10:47 AM

I have no fucking energy again and I've only been back here a week


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Re: Screaming thread. - September 27th 2014, 08:30 PM

I'm out of place because I'm not sad.



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