Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[MyVisionIsDying]

Words to describe me:
Worthless
Hopeless
Nothing
Talentless
Loser
Fucked up

What's the point of trying anymore?

[Chai.]

I give up.

[daisy_jam]

I wish that everyone would stop fighting. I wish that I had the guts to self harm or just end it all

[jamdoughnut]

Why cant i just be happy? Why cant i just forget about what you did to me and forgive you? Why cant i stop believing in these lies? Why is my heart always hurting?

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I don't deserve to be happy or alive.....

[Calaer]

I cannot stand all this pain! I wish it would just go away! I never knew wanting to have a baby would be this much trouble.

[MyVisionIsDying]

Thanks for not showing up!
Mum and I waited for an hour, hell, that wasn't even the first time you did this- I stood in the cold waiting for you yet every bus that passed you weren't there and you didn't arrive today.
Did you understand that I agreed that we could meet up at 12 today or do you not care?
This is why I don't bother my friends, because I get this thrown in my face.
Hell, you didn't even show up for Di's 16th birthday last year when you told me you'd be able to make it (me and Dn felt so awkward because we only knew Di).
I wanted to see you before you move, but no, not gonna happen now.

[Kate*]

--You psychologically BROKE me, good job!

-- People need to STOP publicly ranting and attacking people about shit that they not only don't understand, and have never been through, but that they are obviously WRONG about. Just because the internet lets you post whatever the hell you want without consequences doesn't mean you're suddenly a freaking genius who has the right to say whatever the fuck you want! GROW UP and learn when to keep your mouth SHUT instead of attacking strangers from behind your keyboard. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with people, but if you want to waste your energy on something that the other (more evolved) person is just going to ignore then by all means, you're obviously the one with the problem.

-- Freedom of speech in the constitution means that you can say whatever you want against the government without getting arrested. It is NOT a free pass for you to insult people!

-- Stop praying for something you'll never get. He was amazing with you, but he's forgotten about you by now just like everyone else has. He doesn't have to care anymore and he doesn't.

[Calaer]

I don't understand why I just can't get it right! I would love for just one day where everything is calm and everyone is happy. BUT NO. CLEARLY THAT'S TOO MUCH.

[MyVisionIsDying]

I've had enough.
I want to give up.
What's the point on trying when everything fucks up in my face?
Why me?!
I want everything to stop.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Should just give up.....

[Kate*]

This is pissing me off: I HATE how, when one person does something suddenly entire populations are vilified and we end up jumping into "solutions" that make no realistic sense.

There are school shootings: Lets arm teachers
There are shootings in military recruiting centers: lets let recruiters carry weapons or allow armed citizens to stand guard with guns to protect them
A 12 year old does something he shouldn't do and is shot by police: All police are evil and the kid did no wrong, clamp down on police conduct
An illegal immigrant in an area where he's protected kills an innocent woman: All illegal immigrants are evil and no one from another country should be allowed in here

Guns are not the answer to gun violence and the acts of one person don't generalize to entire populations. Instead lets try this:

There are school shootings: We have an idea of why these happen lets deal with the reasons in appropriate ways which includes access and acceptance of mental health services, appropriate consequences for bullies not the bullied, and taking things seriously

There are shootings in military recruitment centers: Again, mental health treatment and access with no stigma and screening because these people have access to weapons

A 12 year old does something he shouldn't do and is shot by police: TEACH your child what he should and should not do and why before you blame someone else for their reaction.

An illegal immigrant in an area where he's protected kills an innocent woman: Better border control and better screening procedures before being allowed to purchase guns

[Calaer]

I hate paying bills.

[MyVisionIsDying]

I saw you online on Facebook merely minutes ago and still not so much of an apology or an explanation for Wednesday.
Fuck you for not bothering to message me about it, and I sure as hell am not going to message you because why should I start the conversation when you didn't even come round so we could do something together before you move.
Fuck you for making me feel like I'm worth nothing to my friends yet again, fuck you for making me feel worse than last time because you're clearly not bothering to apologise or explain this time.
Fuck you...

[Kate*]

I LOVE how people say others are too sensitive and political correctness goes too far about things they don't understand. Then someone says something that offends them and they flip the fuck out

Just when I think I've decided on one, the other starts to look good again. If I had been able to finish the one I started and really wanted, I wouldn't have this problem! Just when I think I'm ready to contact people so I can move on, I start to talk myself out of it. I don't want to wait forever, but this is incredibly hard. What if they lied and my reputation is shot, what if they just ignore me, what if she tells me to wait longer, what if they tell me no, what if it really is as worthless as I think so even if I earn it, I can't use it? Which is worse, failing at something you've dreampt of your whole life, or succeeding at something you can never use? I'll probably end up doing both. Failure at anything is a real possibility here, what if it happens again? Or, better, what will I do when it does. A person can only go through this so many times.

My allergies are killing me and we have nothing that will help. I'm losing another night of sleep to these and it SUCKS I am SO TIRED

[CcIrAaRzA33me]

I'm such a mess up.

[Calaer]

I hate how you walk all over me.

[Chai.]

I am so tired. I need some rest. Please.

[Forging Galaxies]

I just wanna waste away and die, I don't need to live.
I'm some ugly bastard...

I'll never get anywhere in life... I won't. I'm weak.

[Calaer]

I hate feeling so down! Why can't I just be happy and feel okay?

[CcIrAaRzA33me]

You say you love me, but when I get upset over something mean you've said you tell me you hate when I get like that? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT.

[Calaer]

I hate how rude you are all the time! It wouldn't kill you to be nice to me, it's not like I treat you horribly.

[MyVisionIsDying]

I WANT TO RUN AWAY. I WANT TO RUN AWAY. I WANT TO RUN AWAY.
They haven't argued in ages. This is stressing me out. I'm going to have another panic attack.
They make me angry when they do this because I'm so stressed and I WANT IT TO STOP.
But it's normal she says, everyone does it she says.
I can't handle that because it could lead to major change and I HATE CHANGE, CHANGE STRESSES ME OUT.
EVERYTHING STRESSES ME OUT.
I WANT TO RUN AWAY. Hell, even running away to dad's seems like a great option.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I don't deserve to be alive. No point in being alive anymore.

[Kate*]

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Some people with this nightmare of a disorder managed to earn masters in SOCIAL WORK and make a living at it?! I guess it depends on the individual person because I and most others ended up completely fucked over.

I just emailed you. Please tell me you at least remember offering this help if you don't still want to do it. And at least be professional enough to respond either way.

I really hope this help involves more than shameless recruitment. I know I'm in a desperate situation and easily convinced, but if I know that, so do you.

[Calaer]

I hate feeling like I have zero energy all the time. I wish this would stop.

[MyVisionIsDying]

Fuck my anxiety and fuck my life.

[Calaer]

I hate that it stormed today. I really wanted to go walking today, but not in this rain!

[Chai.]

Fuck you! I already have way too many things to do and you have already committed that I will do this. You were asked if you'd do it, when not just say a simple no. Why did you have to drag me into this and commit to them saying I'd complete it. I already have long tiring days, I don't want more work. I don't want more stress. I don't want more deadlines.

[Forging Galaxies]

I am but a burden to everyone and everything...
I need to disappear, it's best for everyone if I just go...

[Ral.]

Ready to leave.

[Kate*]

I'm trying to sleep, you can stop cutting the grass now.

I'm not saying they're perfect, but I'm sick to death of the racially motivated protests. They're doing their job, acknowledge that they had a reason to get involved with the person. Until you've walked in their shoes and had their training you won't understand why they do things the way they do.

Yes I still want what I can't have! I know it was a train wreck, but you were completely out of line and it would have been SO much better than the crap alternatives I'm stuck with now. Not to mention that it's all a complete waste when I could be using it everyday. Instead I can't even prove I learned it or use it for anything. And even if I could use it, I have no credibility.

Had I been born normal, I could've had it easily. So much for not broken, not screwed, not wasted, and blaming me for the abuse you inflicted so you can avoid responsibility, get away with it, and do it to someone else. My disability made my dream impossible, but I'm not the first person you've screwed over, disabled or not.

I like the idea of the degree, but I have to be able to use it and the faculty is full of clinicians and teachers, so I get to be jealous of them for earning the degrees I can never have. I have a feeling this will be my last straw. I should've done it at the beginning. Best thing that's ever happened to me my ass. I can't, I just can't.

[Calaer]

I wish I had more time to sleep this morning. (Just this morning.)

[Not_here]

WHY ARE YOU SO CONFUSING. TOUGH LOVE HURTS SO PLEASE STOP JUSTIFYING IT. K THANKS.

(sorry for yelling but this IS a screaming thread :P)

[Calaer]

I hate how Jordan works all the time!

[......nobody]

Go fuck yourself.

[Kate*]

I gave myself a year and said if it wasn't better by then, I'd give up. It's been 10 months and it's a million times worse than I thought. So, I'll meet with her as scheduled and that will probably be it. Medication isn't an option and even if it was, it wouldn't help. It's going to get worse not better, there's nothing to do for it, and it has already destroyed my life, my self-esteem, my self-worth, all my dreams, my ability to survive in society, and any hope I have for a life worth fighting for. I'm done.

The more I think about this, the less ready I think I am, I might really have to do it now and not because I want to, but because it's the only option I really have.

[MyVisionIsDying]

I have anxiety so yes, I fear a lot of things. You don't need to belittle me for that now, it's already bad enough that you pretty much said I'm pathetic because I don't have energy for simple things because of depression.
You don't even know what it's like, fuck you.

[Calaer]

I hate all the fighting!

[Jovial.]

I know that I am a piece of shit, I do not need the constant reminders. I know that I do not meet your standards. You wonder why my depression is creeping back up. you wonder why i never smile. you are the reason. I feel so low.


cut. cut. bleed.