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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 2nd 2018, 06:37 PM
Why do customers feel the need to tell me it's disgusting that we can't see them sooner? I can't help that we are fully booked for two weeks. I can't change what management tell me to do and I can't make appointments appear out of thin air. It isn't my fault. I'm doing my job and shouting about how doctors and opticians can't work around your schedule won't change anything. Telling me it would be a two hour job in your country when it's a two week one here won't change anything. I can't work magic and if you want to break me you bloody well will. I can't break the guidelines or the laws to suit you because you can't keep track of your own life. I'm doing my job. It isn't to hurt you it's literally my job. Stop taking it out on me.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 4th 2018, 12:21 PM
I can't read all this shit for school, and there's so much more to do and not enough time or energy to do it--and I need more of both. I really don't know that I can get through this semester. I really with people would just listen and acknowledge that I'm struggling instead of just trying to reassure me that I can do it. Because maybe I can't. And that's not negativity. That's me trying to acknowledge my limitations for the first time ever instead of pushing myself way too far like I always do until I get really sick again. You know it''s bad when you're hoping you end up in the hospital so that you're able to take a couple weeks to rest and disability services and your professors will all actually work with you to let you make up work in a reasonable amount of time and/or take an incomplete. I really desperately need a break, but I won't get one 'til this semester ends, and it just started. It's only going to get worse, and I already can't handle it, but I have to keep this to myself so I don't overwhelm and inconvenience anyone else. I'm so sick and tired of this shit. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired in multiple ways. I wish I had just dropped out of school freshmen year before I accumulated so much fucking debt that my only hope IS to graduate college so I can pay off my debt with a decent job maybe if I'm lucky. If I can even handle a career in my field, and after I also suffer through grad school so I can get a job in my field. As if I wasn't suicidal before this semester started. I'm more so now. I only haven't given up yet because I have nothing to lose by pushing myself past my breaking point if I was going to kill myself anyway. I was living for others, but they don't need me anymore, and I'm just hurting them more by not getting better fast enough. I hate this. I hate my life. I hate myself. I want to die.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 4th 2018, 07:46 PM
It's so exhausting having to listen to how you're going to uni in a month, how you've got all this paid work, so many friends, people to go to the gym with, while I know I'll be sat on my own for the majority of my day with nobody to talk to and no prospects for my future. I know it isn't your fault, but I'm so disinterested in life right now.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 5th 2018, 05:17 PM
I hate myself for cutting after 420 days of being clean and for making my parents worry about me. They can't sleep because of me and they have to work too much to earn money for my therapy.
I hate school. I don't want to go there anymore.
I hate people for the disguises they are wearing every day.
I hate everything except books that let me into their worlds.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 6th 2018, 12:50 AM
So dead that even if I have the time to do something fun occasionally, I don't have energy. And by that I mean even watching a movie, reading a book, or just anything in general.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 6th 2018, 12:42 PM
It's only 8 in the morning and I've already had over 200 mg of caffeine, and I can't focus for shit because the fatigue is so bad, but I have so much work that needs to be done the next few days... I'm at a loss for what to do. Blasting aggressive music in attempt to keep my eyes open as I try to read these boring textbook pages.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 8th 2018, 06:53 AM
Remember I said that when I hit my limit and was forced to work beyond it, it wasn't pretty? I am very close to hitting my wall and still have 6 hours tomorrow, 8 hours on Sunday, and 5 hours on Monday before I FINALLY get ONE day off. Not to mention I'm dealing with the most stubborn headache of my life, it's going into it's 8th hour with only short breaks thanks to the multiple medication doses, and yet I'm considering applying for a promotion?!
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 8th 2018, 03:18 PM
So much caffeine but it doesn't help enough. I'm not going to make it, and I wish everyone would stop fucking saying I can do it. I'm not unmotivated! I HAVE BEEN pushing through it every fucking day of my life. Please stop saying I just need to push through it, 'cause I can't fucking do it anymore. There's no energy to be found to psuh through it left. Believe me, I'm trying. I know you don't know what to say or how to help, but please... not that.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 8th 2018, 11:48 PM
I'm not well and can't call in sick tomorrow
And I've been watching scary things online and now I'm worried someone is watching me or gonna attack me in the night.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 11th 2018, 08:32 PM
If I just push myself harder and be super productive, I'll just be less behind but still behind. I can't keep up. And I can't work as had as I need to to be less behind because I'm so sick.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
September 12th 2018, 05:25 PM
Why can't everyone stop fucking telling me that it'll work out? Maybe it won't. Things don't always work out. No ones actually listening. So maybe I'll just stop talking. 'Cause I'm trying to stay alive, but if it doesn't get better, I guess you'll see that it doesn't always work out.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.